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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Its funny, not once as a kid did I watch The Muppets and noticed the strings.
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02-27-2011 18:36
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Everyone in the terminal was clapping for me after I got off the plane! I bet those military guys behind me were jealous
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02-27-2011 18:30
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Thanks for "Checking In". Now I know the place to avoid.
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02-27-2011 18:28
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When is that guy from the Men's Wearhouse commercials gonna clear his throat?
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02-27-2011 18:27
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in the same place he was 10 minutes ago.
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02-27-2011 18:25
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This situation calls for a barrel roll.
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02-27-2011 18:08
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Forget air brushing. Your profile pic needs sandblasting!
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02-27-2011 18:02
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Another long day at the office. Well, for someone. I was home on the couch watching TV all day.
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02-27-2011 18:00
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I'm just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
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02-27-2011 17:43 by
Abbybaby34
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Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How'd that work out for him?
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02-27-2011 17:43
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Don't know why the wife gets so disgusted when I go to the bathroom in the shower.If you step on it a few times it won't clog the drain.
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02-27-2011 17:37 by
Aaron
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sometimes I stroll through homeless shelters handing out real estate pamphlets just for fun.
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02-27-2011 17:34 by
Aaron
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When life knocks me down, instead of getting back up I usually lie there and take a nap.
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02-27-2011 17:21 by
Marshall the Great
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Don't get me wrong. I totally hear what you're saying...I just don't care.
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02-27-2011 17:13 by
Abbybaby34
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thinks that Google Maps can skip a few steps when giving me directions... I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
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02-27-2011 16:48 by
@The69Sheriff
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On my tombstone I'm going to pout...preheat oven to 400 degrees...none will get it though.
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02-27-2011 16:40 by
Yojimbo
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the band Nine Inch Nails should change their name to 'No Amount of Toilet Paper Helps'
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02-27-2011 16:39 by
levon
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i think it's about time Charlie Sheen changes his name back to Carlos Estevez, you know, to fit his name..
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02-27-2011 16:34
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Thanks, confirmation email telling me I've successfully unsubscribed from your emails. You just had to win didn't you?
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02-27-2011 16:25
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As if the TSA couldn't get any creepier, today they announced they're changing their name to Uncle TSA.
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02-27-2011 16:10
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