Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon FYI to the Prophets adding dates....Japan Earthquake was on 3/10/11, they are a day ahead of us.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:18 by Unknown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?” I didn't know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 09:58 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last year, I deducted 10, 697 cartons of cigarettes as a business expense. The tax man said, “Don't ever let us catch you without a cigarette in your hand.”
←Rate | 03-16-2011 09:49 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm at a bar I aways look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 09:45 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I like your name more than your post...yeah you below me v v
←Rate | 03-16-2011 09:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells “You should have been here at 8:30!” he replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”
←Rate | 03-16-2011 09:36 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just on the news... boni blue world surfing championships in Australia has just been won by an unknown Japanese man on a fridge!!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 03:26 by marlise** Comments (0)  


   messageicon now knows why they say silence is the best answer for a fool....
←Rate | 03-16-2011 01:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon makes mistakes but the only difference between my mistakes and yours is that I learn from mine...
←Rate | 03-16-2011 01:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I wanted to listen to someone bi!ch, complain and act like there better than everyone else I'd listen to RAP music
←Rate | 03-16-2011 01:16 by @daddybullfrog1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon as long as charlie sheen thinks he's winning, why can't can we just let him win?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 01:16 by SNL Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cop:Sir have you been drinking? Guy:Why is there a fat chick in the back? Cop:Sir are you drunk...? Guy:Why? IS there 2 fat chicks in the back!?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 00:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Females who have multiple abortions should really start making it their business to swallow.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 23:34 by Nazir Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever at Comedy Central decided that they should allow The Situation to be a roast should be fired. His set was more painful than getting a three-fingered prostate exam!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 23:20 by Kelevra Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found the key to success...however, I found a note from success's landlord saying that the locks have been changed.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 23:02 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes what is said is not what is meant and what is meant is left unsaid.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 20:32 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was Home School Valedictorian!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 19:21 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please FB, if not permanently, then at least on April Fool's Day...when people poke me, make the button give a sudden loud buzz and frighten the crap out of them :)..x
←Rate | 03-15-2011 19:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Irish I was a little bit taller, Irish I was a baller. Irish I had a girl who looked good I would call her.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 18:28 Comments (0)  



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