Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I heard that old Paris Hilton song "Stars are blind" today. Still stinks! Listening to that song is probily more painful than getting a prostate exam from Freddy Kruger!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 17:55 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my Bikini Bottom translator, the word "Barnacle" means "FU#K" in the United States
←Rate | 03-16-2011 17:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smile. It's easier than explaining why you're sad.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 16:47 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I went to a Chinese restaurant and saw the sexiest woman I have ever saw, so I was blunt and said I wanna 69...she brought me Beef and Broccoli.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 16:32 by jimmycos Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time I don't 'get it' in a good way is at work.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 16:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Angry Birds get it's name because the birds are angry at you when you can't beat a level or because it makes you angry when you can't?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 16:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you are going to write on the dust on my car please dont date it
←Rate | 03-16-2011 16:02 by brendan Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best selling books are cookbooks and the second are diet books. So you can learn how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 15:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with America today is if you rob a bank, you have to bring your own sacks with “$” on them.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 15:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lick the alphabet. Yea, you know what I am talking about, don't even lie.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 15:19 by jimmycos Comments (0)  


   messageicon there's something special about today....maybe its because I finally decided to shave my legs
←Rate | 03-16-2011 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to worry Obama will fix everything while he's on vacation in Rio this weekend......
←Rate | 03-16-2011 14:22 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's great to see somebody change their relationship status on Facebook to 'Married' when they are actually legally married.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 14:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like punching baby kittens, whenever I see ungrateful douchebags yell at their smartphone, because it's taking more than a minute to upload something….YOU'RE GETTING A SIGNAL FROM SPACE…GIVE IT A MINUTE…
←Rate | 03-16-2011 14:09 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, if I had a girlfriend, I'd be a lot happier. Does anyone have an extra one they don't need?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 14:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I hear someone say "The Lord works in mysterious ways," I picture him performing miracles while doing the robot.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:56 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My condolences to Snoop and the rest of the Dogg family. RIP Nate Dogg
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:44 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess the Obama's need another vacation to Rio to take a break... Apparently picking all 4 #1 seeds in his March Madness bracket was just to much on him?? What a SLACKER!!!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:32 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear buffalo wings: What happened to us? You were soooo good to me last night. But today… all I can say is OUCH!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon read that a new study indicates that 80% of children aged 0 to 5 are already exposed to some computer use. In response to show their concern, Apple Computer has announced the new iCrib to target the remaining 20%.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:24 by markf Comments (0)  



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