Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   super excited cause In 21st century relationships.. you can touch each other's private parts BUT you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are PRIVATE!

   Muammar Gaddafi continues his control over Libya saying in a press conference "No one better lay a finger on my butterfinger"

   This is where I plan on retiring: Go to Google Maps, hit these coordinates 45.55243,6.453428 in the search bar. Now back away on the map until the town name appears. Oh yeah, that's it. LOL!

   changing my Facebook name to "Nobody", that way I can 'like' a stupid status and it will read "Nobody likes this."

   we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"

   Free Tibet* --- *with the purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value.

   I'm humored that libya produces less than 2 percent of the worlds oil but speculation has put it roughly 30 percent up at the pump in the past weeks. But what do I know

   If you watch 127 hours backwards it's an uplifting story about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.

   Urban Outfitters clothes size exchange rate,  XL=94 pound 5th grader...

   I just bought the NEW Charlie Sheen viewmaster...it flips all by itself..crickets..crickets..

   As kids we want to be adults who can do whatever they want and as adults we wish we were kids who can do whatever they want

   when work feels overwhelming, I just reassure myself that I will die someday....

   a little rusty with my Spanish so I'm gonna go ahead and assume "beunos tardes" means "so long, you f****** retards."

   If you want to make enemies, go and try to change something. If you already have enemies, good! It means you've stood up for something sometime in your life.

   I think Franco was hanging with Sheen before the Oscars.

   against recycling, because it makes me look like a huge alcoholic to my garbage man.

   hooked on ebonics...tru dat dawg

   i didnt realize how many amatuer meteorologist friends I have on facebook thanks for the 112 updates and photos of the floods ;)

   sex is my favorite sport

   Hooked on Phonics werked fer me :-)