Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon greatest pickup line ever: "Some of my friends were talking about some video game and I don't want to sound like a loser in front of them.. so what's Black Ops?"
←Rate | 03-21-2011 13:45 by testingitout Comments (0)  


   messageicon Party like a rockstar is no longer acceptable. You party like Charlie Sheen, or you don't party at all !
←Rate | 03-21-2011 13:31 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is like a late night phone call. You get a ring and then you wake up.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 12:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield, it said parking fine
←Rate | 03-21-2011 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The definition of irony: Not knowing the difference between a definition and an example.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 11:20 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time you lie to your kid and tell them that some dumb thing they did is "great"... you're potentially creating the next Ke$ha.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 10:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this blessing occasion of mother's day I'd like to thank all the sri lankis and philippinos and other maids who are raising the precious lebanese children and wish them a happy mother's day
←Rate | 03-21-2011 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
←Rate | 03-21-2011 09:10 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
←Rate | 03-21-2011 09:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing. Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 09:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 05:10 by Bratty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 05:09 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Goodnight I need to go to sleep early to be late for school tomorrow
←Rate | 03-21-2011 00:35 by Sal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man I think it is BS that certain nations have our back in war-time situations but won't help with our search for Bigfoot
←Rate | 03-21-2011 00:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would much rather regret something I did, then something I was too afraid to do...
←Rate | 03-20-2011 23:07 by mm187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scooby and the gang always solve mysteries in 30 minutes or less. I think I'll hire them to help me with the whole women thing. Plus Daphne is hot.
←Rate | 03-20-2011 22:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon : Every day should be 'HUMP DAY'.... but not the Wednesday kind.
←Rate | 03-20-2011 22:40 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boba Fett was an embarrassment to us all- Dog the Bounty Hunter
←Rate | 03-20-2011 22:39 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is nothing is more awkward than driving through a 'One Way' street without knowing it and you meet up with another car face to face, then have to drive half a mile in reverse.
←Rate | 03-20-2011 21:55 by SalVADOR GOMEZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3/17/2011 - 3/20/11 RIP - My NCAA Tournament Bracket
←Rate | 03-20-2011 21:48 Comments (0)  



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