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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Read it slow: LIFEISNOWHERE. What did you read? LIFE IS NO WHERE or LIFE IS NOW HERE? Life is as you read it.
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03-02-2011 22:25 by
seddy90
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Scott Walker, I don't know what it is that you're doing to make it appear as if you're really stupid, but whatever it is, it's really working .
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03-02-2011 21:46
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While most people are becoming older and wiser, I'm becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
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03-02-2011 21:35 by
Abbybaby34
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Does this comic book collection make me look single?
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03-02-2011 21:34
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Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
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03-02-2011 21:29 by
Abbybaby34
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this year more than any other I am hoping for a wardrobe malfunction on American Idol!!!
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03-02-2011 21:27 by
migasjoe
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I'm waiting till the iPad 1,473 comes out because it will fly you to the moon while you surf the internet.
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03-02-2011 21:24 by
Abbybaby34
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Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
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03-02-2011 21:16 by
Abbybaby34
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If you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation...Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
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03-02-2011 21:15 by
Abbybaby34
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Confucious say , he who eat jelly bean, fart in living color.
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03-02-2011 21:14 by
pUnKiE
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Raise your hand if you would add your boss as a Facebook friend. Now with the other hand slap yourself in the face.
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03-02-2011 21:10 by
RoN
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Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
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03-02-2011 21:09 by
RoN
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FACEBOOK asks me what I'm thinking, TWITTER asks me what I'm doing, FOURSQUARE asks me where I am. Conclusion: Internet is my girlfriend!
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03-02-2011 21:08 by
RoN
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Wish we could be like bears, get all fat eating good food in the fall, hibernate all winter, and be all skinny for summer... Then do it all over again
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03-02-2011 21:05 by
migasjoe
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If before every major life decision, people would just say "What would Charlie Sheen do?"...The world would be so much more interesting....
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03-02-2011 21:01 by
scottyp
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With the day I just had looking to go out tonight for a bender. The type of bender even Charlie Sheen would say "DAMN DUDE YOU BETTER SLOW DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL YOURSELF"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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03-02-2011 20:59 by
migasjoe
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Confucious say man who not married not quite ready , when he get married he finished
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03-02-2011 20:21 by
Banjaxed
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has come to the conclusion the more women have seen naked by accident than on purpose.
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03-02-2011 20:18 by
ff1241
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If I die young like in the next few days I blame it on the Girl Scouts and their evil cookies.
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03-02-2011 20:17 by
ff1241
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Busted, Disgusted, and most of all, I can't be trusted.
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03-02-2011 19:54 by
pUnKiE
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