Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments or a court date.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 11:50 by Jason Biaza Comments (2)  


   messageicon My hamster died today. He fell asleep at the wheel.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 11:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't hide redneck under a three piece suit
←Rate | 03-23-2011 11:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moms have "mothers day" Dads have "Fathers day" Lovers have "Valentines day" what do single men have?...Palm Sunday
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:53 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having one of those days where I'm seriously considering swallowing a handcuff key....Just in case.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:51 by Chuck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are unicorns, violets are green, welcome to the party, I'm Charlie Sheen.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon as a male I kinda get offended when a girl asks me to show her my abs ..Thats kinda like me asking a woman to show me her titts.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michael Jacksons twin sister died... R.I.P Elizabeth Taylor...
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:13 by boo Comments (0)  


   messageicon as a male I get offended when a girl asks me if I have abs..thats kinda like me asking a woman what size are her titts ..
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 2 years, the "situation" will change his name to the "cancellation" followed shortly by the "bankruptcy declaration"
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
←Rate | 03-23-2011 09:57 by tigertracks103 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Elizabeth Taylor dead? I thought she had been dead for years.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 09:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Qhaddafi has vowed to defeat the NATO forces. In support of his troops, he has issued them state of the art sling shots and water pistols.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 08:54 by Jeffrey Brooks Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
←Rate | 03-23-2011 07:20 by smdk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is Obama so interested in "liberating" Libya anyways, is he planning a vacation there?
←Rate | 03-23-2011 06:57 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone tries to shoot at Colonel Gadaffi,do his bodyguards need to shout 'Gadaffi duck' ?????
←Rate | 03-23-2011 06:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if I'll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at every guy on the job and saying, “This thing is broken!!!” (for us females!!! :)
←Rate | 03-23-2011 06:44 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found out there is an "acceptable" amount of radioactive iodine in water.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 03:25 by @daddybullfrog1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon for an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, call your friends, and brag about it!
←Rate | 03-22-2011 23:21 by tiki Comments (1)  


   messageicon the blue book value on my car just tripled...I filled the gas tank!
←Rate | 03-22-2011 22:18 by ff1241 Comments (0)  



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