Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I was at the vet with my sick dog, the vet said have you thought about youthanasia? What does Chinese kids have to do with my dog?
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:22 by Dumbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finger prick tests are being developed to test people for radiation in the wake of the Japan disaster. Apparently if the person's blood comes out glowing fluorescent green, there might be a problem.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congress has racked up a reported $15,000 in unpaid parking and traffic tickets. Apparently they are as good at driving their cars as they are in steering the country right over the cliff.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Britney Spears is being sued for $10 Million over a perfume deal. Apparently the scent is selling well because it helps mask the smell coming from her CDs.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Egypt is set to announce a new working Constitution. To which the U.S. is asking “Where can we get one of those?”
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new website helps college students arrange for casual sex hookups. Don't college kids already have that? It's called Facebook.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A report says that 15% of Americans admit to cheating on their taxes. Probably because the other 85% don't have an income anymore.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 19:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wonder who came up with the phrase "sh!ts and giggles", because the two have always been mutually exclusive for me....
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:52 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon How about when you're in line at The Walmart and they herd ya over to express checkout and the people behind you get all pissed off.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:51 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:48 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon so has a friend ever used your PC and caught your google searches on accident? as In if they where searching "Minnesota" and when they typed "Mi" "midget porn" pops up
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone is wondering how to build a meth lab, Google apparently has directions on its homepage today…..
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:21 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates people who feel like the "12 items or less" sign at the supermarket doesnt apply to them
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl says "Guys are like bras. They hook up behind your back.".... The best reply, "Girls are like condoms, they spend more time in your wallet then on your d!ck!"
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live,Laugh, Love if that doesn't work- Raise, Aim and Fire..
←Rate | 03-31-2011 15:29 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw an advertisement for a singles site that read, “Meet sincere singles over 40”. Thank you, but no thank you, as I'm in search of a deceitful woman...again.....
←Rate | 03-31-2011 15:02 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon longing for the good old days when "Anarchists" were protesting for something other than more government.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 14:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon always afraid to poop at a friends house cuz I might clog the toilet...
←Rate | 03-31-2011 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a distinct difference between power walking for fitness and power walking because you have to use the bathroom
←Rate | 03-31-2011 14:34 by brandy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work
←Rate | 03-31-2011 14:32 by brandy Comments (1)  



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