Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 14:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Americans are going to start complaining about their dwindling water supply because they can't keep their golf courses and their hollywoods watered they should start by extracting it from their BEER
←Rate | 04-05-2011 14:20 by Jmichek Comments (0)  


   messageicon so hungry i'm starin' at my candlestick hopin' he's come to life, sing me 'be our guest' n prepare me a dancing yummy feast !!
←Rate | 04-05-2011 13:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon from South Africa and no we don't have Lions in our backyards ;)
←Rate | 04-05-2011 13:21 by Sheldon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear attractive teenage grocery checkout girl, please don't judge me for buying 3 cucumbers, 1 light bulb, a jar of jelly and 2 tubes of KY.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 13:14 by Mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Liver, I'm sorry I abused you this weekend. My drinking habits have caused you pain a damage once again. I will make it up to you by not drinking for at least a week or until someone offers me a drink. Please don't be mad at me and continue to functi
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:43 by Rherrera Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bank of America credit card: $6,469.43, Citi credit card :$4,710.89, Chase credit card: $1,434.85... Figuring out that your Ex-Girlfriend wasn't the one.........................................................EXPENSIVE!!!! FML LOL
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:41 by Rherrera Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cancel my subscription! I am tired of your Issues....
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would sell my soul for a cookie and a nap right now
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:39 by Rherrera Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend knows there's something wrong by the way you act but a best friend can tell through just a text message
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to guns and condoms- it's better to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them. Be safe FB friends... Be safe
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:36 by Rherrera Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mistakes- We all make them but we don't always apologize for them. Sometimes it's pride, sometimes it's stupidity and sometimes we don't think we did anything wrong, but if we're not careful we might end up being sorry one way or another.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:31 by Rherrera Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I need to buy my husband a box of tampons
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the one thing that annoys me about Disney films is that inanimate objects don't break out into song and dance nowhere near as much as they do in the films and when they do no one else is around to see. 
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:13 by Sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it would be cool to actually see a tornado before I die, just not RIGHT before.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say, "I never do that"...what I mean is "I haven't done that in the past five minutes."
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:04 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon ppl dying, couples fighting just alot of unhappy ppl out there! Its times like this we need to tell the ppl we care bout the most we love them! Just stop what ur doing call ur girl, man, moms, dad or whoever & tell them you love them!
←Rate | 04-05-2011 11:59 by Anasutesya Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will respect any religion you practice as long as you don't knock on my door and tell me about it.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 10:20 by Jason Biaza Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy National Caramel Day everyone!
←Rate | 04-05-2011 10:12 by mntnbikerbw Comments (0)  


   messageicon The DJ played The Twist I did the twist. He played Jump I jumped. He played Come on Eileen...He called the cops.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 08:59 Comments (0)  



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