Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I found out it was really hot outside by actually venturing out there. WTF Facebook? You are suppossed to tell me these things first.

   'Glee' actually isn't half bad. It's 3/4 bad.

   Sex is a sensation caused by a temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination to increase the population of the next generation, do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?

   The SCHOOL part of school sucks. I just like the social part.

   He's actually dyslexic. He is trying to say 'His Pen is so big'

   msg me if your up for cleaning my apartment. I pay in Oreo's btw.. :D (can't guarantee the cream wont be licked off)

   I just went through the "10 items or less" line with 12 items...THUG LIFE

   Your boyfriend is such a playa, when he sends you a text message on your phone it goes to the ''games'' folder.

   Ziplock: making a fortune off potheads since 1980

   If you see a dude at the park with a case of beer, making homeless people dance for a can, come over and shake my hand.

   Its apparently rude to make "whoosh" sounds when an asian person hands you something. You would think they would appreciate the ninja sound effects.

   If I place a call that is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, I make sure to say mother%#&@er alot.

   it just me or does Justin Bieber's new haircut make him look like Marcy Darcy from "Married With Children"?

   I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

   Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

   To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.

   There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

   Our generation doesn't knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we're outside.

   67.By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.

   MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: A passenger side drive-thru window for their complicated orders.