Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I guess having a rope tied between two trees in your backyard does not mean you "own your own clothing line".
←Rate | 04-10-2011 10:31 by Paul Comments (0)  


   messageicon Playing the ice cream truck song out of my car and watching all the people running around looking for ice cream.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those people with central air conditioning think they are sssssoooooo cool.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thats why you get your drivers license photo taken when your drunk , that way you can tell the officer that your not drunk , you always look that way.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 09:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up with a post it note on the end of my foot saying "Gone to market"...
←Rate | 04-10-2011 09:10 by Sando Comments (0)  


   messageicon making Sunday my favorite day since Rebecca Black ruined Fridays.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 07:42 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon My funny Facebook statuses are my contribution to society.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 06:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a job naming military operations. It be great to hear a stoic general talk about how "Operation My little pony" was a success
←Rate | 04-10-2011 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life throws you a curve, downshift and take it vigorously.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 04:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a man donates blood to his girlfriend. they break up. he says he wants his blood back. she throws a tampon at him and yells 'I'll pay you monthly!!'
←Rate | 04-10-2011 04:10 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you have headphones in your ears blocking external sound, does not mean your farts to not make noise.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 04:06 by BB Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's going to be cold today, Nips don't lie. - update from Shakira
←Rate | 04-10-2011 04:04 by Shakira Comments (0)  


   messageicon All men were not created equal, look around more often
←Rate | 04-10-2011 04:03 by BB Comments (0)  


   messageicon imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 03:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
←Rate | 04-10-2011 02:51 by Hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you take my jokes to heart... you deserve to be offended!!
←Rate | 04-10-2011 01:43 by zman87 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 01:37 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they no longer offer drivers ed and sex ed in schools in Mexico? The donkey died....
←Rate | 04-10-2011 01:31 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 01:29 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a robin makes red babies and a bluebird makes blue babies, what kind of bird makes no babies? A swallow.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 01:28 by punkie Comments (0)  



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