read that a new study indicates that 80% of children aged 0 to 5 are already exposed to some computer use. In response to show their concern, Apple Computer has announced the new iCrib to target the remaining 20%.
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?” I didn't know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
Last year, I deducted 10, 697 cartons of cigarettes as a business expense. The tax man said, “Don't ever let us catch you without a cigarette in your hand.”
When I'm at a bar I aways look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
Whoever at Comedy Central decided that they should allow The Situation to be a roast should be fired. His set was more painful than getting a three-fingered prostate exam!