bill Funny Status Messages

   Those 50 workers that stayed and are trying to stop full nuclear meltdown at the reactor in Japan are super heroes or the last of the Kamikaze's as far as I'm concerned...God Speed!!

   Why can't the President tackle the real issues? Like mandating all clocks auto-program when there is a time change!

   FYI West Coast friends: If your just waking up, you might want to put floaties on. Just saying......

   heading out to track down that homeless guy holding the "End Of Days Is Coming", "Repent Now" sign at the corner....Be right back : )

   Glad I noticed it's Ash Wednesday so I don't tell someone they have dirt on their forehead...

   Hey, it's Fat Tuesday, or just Tuesday, as it's known at Kirstie Alley's house.

   Apparently 'Fat Tuesday' doesn't constitue telling fatties they're fatties.

   Fat Tuesday, the day obese people look forward to. The day they think it's socially acceptable to wear leggings and belly shirts. It's not.

   giving up Pabst Blue Ribbon for Lent.. first few days are always the hardest

   there any way we can blame gas prices on Charlie Sheen?

   I ate all of the Girl Scout cookies : ( Do you think Michelle Obama would mind if I buy some more??

   $60 to fill my gas tank last night. It's the apocalypse!!! I'm going to Walmart, buying me a water hose and I'm going on a siphon spree.........

   Shout out to everybody that had to work on President's Day bwahahaha

   Happy President's Day! Time to remember all the great leaders this country has had, and how we've disgraced them by putting Obama in office!!

   Breaking News: Governor Scott Walker to announce Omar Suleiman as his vice-governor in Wisconsin.........

   BREAKING NEWS: Mubarak to remain in office, "I will step down when the Cleveland Cavaliers win a game." More details coming soon.......

   President Obama is celebrating Black History Month, but just for the first two weeks.........

   Happy Groundhogs Day. No way Phil is coming out of his hole today.....

   I was thinking....I bet airfare to Egypt is crazy cheap right about now. I've never seen the pyramids, are they still standing?? Oh never mind, they got no internet, I'M NOT GOING!!!

   Mubarak is like one of those guys at the end of the party. However many hints you give him, he just won't leave.....