Abraham lincoln Funny Status Messages

   One Day I hope I can afford an iphone like that girl in line infront of me with the food stamps!!!

   Bad Gun! Bad Gun!....Shame on you for making criminals do those bad things!.......And then those Forks that are making me Fat!!!

   Oh I'm sorry, I forgot I only exist when you need something!

   I decided to leave the paperboy a tip! I left some at the end of the driveway, in the bushes,by the sprinkler, everywhere but my at my front door!!!

   The way Police check to see if you're wearing your seat belt they should do to make sure ''Certain'' people are wearing Condoms!!!

   At a Hotal a Man accidentally bumps into a Woman beside him and as he does his elbow touches her Brea$t. The man says ''Ma'am if your heart is as soft as your brea$t I know you'll forgive me!'' Her ''If your Pen!$ is as hard as your elbow I'm in room 436

   Let me know when you're off your Man-Period!!!

   Chick-fil-a announced today they have a new policy concerning patrons! ....Men will no longer be able to share their ''Nuggets!''

   The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!

   it poontang or puddingtang?.....I need to know real fast this English Composition is due today!!!

   You don't have to be Crazy to be my friend!........But it sure helps!

   Women sex toys cost money for Batteries! Men's sex toys cost money for rent, clothes, groceries.......

   Never in my life have I ever seen someone so excited to take a sh!t!----Those Bears in the Charmin commercial

   A North Korean man announce yesterday that his Dog gave birth to a 1/2 Dog 1/2 Cat offspring! Also referred to in Korea as the #2 ''Combo''!!!

   ''Please punch in your account number, phone number,and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again!''

   Archie Buinker & George Jefferson together again......in a much better place!!!

   Sherman Hemsley(George Jeferson) has passed on! In his own words he would probably say ''Somehow a Honky is behind this!!!''

   How did flying babies in diapers wielding Bow & Arrows ever become a symbol of love?!!!

   Relax........Let's get back to the important things in life! Like stealing eachothers status!

   It's all fun and games til you lose your wifi..........ok, wife!