Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon - I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips bring my groceries in.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - As a driver I hate pedestrains, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bird in the hand~~~is the best way to eat chicken.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I wish Google Maps had an "Aviod Ghetto" routing option.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wanted to go smoke pot, so I told my mom I was getting tutored. she asked what time I would be back, I told her learning doesn't have a curfew
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:47 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:43 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:42 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon this day is slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't wear the label people give you!! They only know you're name and not your story and one day eventually some of them will end up having to kiss your ass!!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:02 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get the feeling that Americans just think of us Canadians as "white Mexicans" sneaking across the border and stealing their hockey jobs.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 18:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loving him some father son and holy spirit right. I love ya Jesus
←Rate | 04-13-2011 18:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw an elevator today with a sign that said "this elevator does not go down." Guess it was a Christian elevator
←Rate | 04-13-2011 18:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ten years from now facebook "friends in common" we all be related to adam and eve
←Rate | 04-13-2011 18:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would rather bleed to death than give up a fight!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 17:29 by raver Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know about y'all but every time I see that Direct TV commercial...I really want a miniature giraffe.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 17:02 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems like life had more meaning back when pluto was still a planet. Now I don't really know what to live for anymore...Live for that next beer, perhaps?
←Rate | 04-13-2011 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The word "Excellent" has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his Grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I would call him an "excellent" shot, but I don't think that's what Bill and Ted meant by "Be Excellent to each other!"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 16:14 by Keith Albert Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 15:46 by kman Comments (0)  



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