Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 22:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon God puts people in my life for a reason... & removes them from my life for a better reason.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 22:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unfortunately, its hard to get real, useful advice nowadays. But on the other hand, you have different fingers...
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:57 by RD Comments (0)  


   messageicon burned lots of calories tonday, otherwise known as "dinner". :)
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:57 by mznicky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should change the "Friends" section to "Friends & People I've Only Made Eye Contact With".
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:50 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love how yall ladies enjoy that show "Snapped" stories about women who go crazy on their men..So I decided I'm gonna create a show for men its gonna be called "She Just Wouldn't Shut-the-f*ck-Up
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:17 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips bring my groceries in.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - As a driver I hate pedestrains, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bird in the hand~~~is the best way to eat chicken.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I wish Google Maps had an "Aviod Ghetto" routing option.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 20:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wanted to go smoke pot, so I told my mom I was getting tutored. she asked what time I would be back, I told her learning doesn't have a curfew
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:47 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:43 by letsfly Comments (0)  



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