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Whenever I see a sock puppet... I wonder if he might be my long-lost son from one of my countless affairs with socks.
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03-25-2011 15:30 by
@The69Sheriff
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Facebook : "a stalkers dream come true"
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03-25-2011 15:19 by
I.J
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When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I'll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”
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03-25-2011 15:03 by
BEGO
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I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
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03-25-2011 15:02 by
BEGO
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Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend
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03-25-2011 15:01 by
BEGO
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Don't Mind Me Just Trying to Find the name on the back of your Girl Jeans
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03-25-2011 15:00 by
EricAllDayMotley
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some people have a way with words other people have not way.
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03-25-2011 14:30
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I see my self as a crayon, maybe I'm not yourr favorite color, but one day you will need me to complete your picture.
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03-25-2011 14:10
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slept like an aircraft controller.
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03-25-2011 13:59 by
the turk
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“There's always more fish in the sea.” Well that's fine…if you want a fish with 3 eyes and 5 fins due to all the radiation in the sea now.
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03-25-2011 13:16
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That girl is a LOBSTER! All the meat is in the tail.
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03-25-2011 12:49
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But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
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03-25-2011 12:42 by
SEDDY90
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Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
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03-25-2011 12:27 by
JeremyCakes
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they say there is more fish in the sea....im not sure what bait to use and I sure in the hell dont wanna catch any crabs...
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03-25-2011 12:03 by
juneau
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Dear windshield wipers,...You cant touch this.....Sincerely, The triangle
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03-25-2011 11:33 by
boo
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anyone else think Scotty from American Idol looks like Alfred E Newman from Mad Magazine???
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03-25-2011 11:12 by
migasjoe
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I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
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03-25-2011 10:34 by
Aaron
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I won't get angry at you today... I just learned it's "Be kind to Animals Week"!
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03-25-2011 10:31 by
BONNIE
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Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.
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03-25-2011 08:38 by
AC
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gonna go out and make a difference in the life of America's youth tonight!!! There is a lot of teachable amounts in the champagn room
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03-25-2011 07:53 by
migasjoe
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