Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon When I die, i'm gonna have a "like" and "dislike" button on my gravestone. And just a word of caution: If you think its gonna be funny to push the "dislike" button, wait till you see what you look like when all the voltage passes through you...
←Rate | 04-18-2011 16:31 by ShaunRaetzer Comments (0)  


   messageicon oly crap! I just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1987.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 16:09 by Boo Comments (0)  


   messageicon my idea of a drinking problem is not having any booze to drink.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes feels like going up to people who have just been seated at a restaraunt and say "Just to let you know, the last person that sat here threw up on the table"...
←Rate | 04-18-2011 14:24 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid people used to cover me in cream and put a cherry on my head, it was tough being brought up in the gateau.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a big fart........You come into the world, make a big stink, and then you just fade away!....
←Rate | 04-18-2011 13:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's extraordinary when a person comes in contact with a spider web or a bug lands on them, they become a Kung-Fu master.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 13:13 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon posing patiently with my clothes off for Google Earth to come by and take my picture...
←Rate | 04-18-2011 11:45 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not 'get' the concept of a 'gift certificate' , first you take a piece of paper that's good EVERYWHERE,,,,
←Rate | 04-18-2011 11:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If first you don't succeed, try try a GUN.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 10:44 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my girls how I like my cheese: Fat free American singles
←Rate | 04-18-2011 10:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ran as much as your mouth you'd be in great shape
←Rate | 04-18-2011 10:04 by johnny Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎3 facts about life: 1 You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2 Your retarded cause you just tried it. 3 Now your smiling cause you're an idiot.
←Rate | 04-18-2011 09:31 by Monty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday sure is an awful way to spend 1/7th of our life......
←Rate | 04-18-2011 06:28 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mean to be mean but leggings on that old dear....that wasn't a camel toe,it was a moose hoof!!!...
←Rate | 04-18-2011 05:37 by UK Bloke Comments (0)  


   messageicon You looked good until your 30 day trial of Adobe Photoshop expired
←Rate | 04-18-2011 04:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sexual position, more commonly known as 69 will now be known as 96. Due to the economy, it now costs more to eat out than it used to
←Rate | 04-18-2011 04:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon iTeam It's about time Apple, it's about time!
←Rate | 04-18-2011 04:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon is having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I remember forgetting this before
←Rate | 04-18-2011 01:20 by drftn8 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murd.r for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 23:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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