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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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2/3 of the motorists on the road do not deserve the privilege to drive, what they do deserve is to be taken out back and beaten with an old iron pipe.
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04-15-2011 22:43
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"How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?" You don't understand how sex works, do you, Michael Bolton?
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04-15-2011 22:28 by
Gman
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Sarah Palin wants to trade Mark her name. What the hell's Mark gonna do with it??
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04-15-2011 22:26 by
Gman
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Gatorade's motto is "Is it in you?" ... Coincidentally, that was also MY motto the first several times I tried to have sex
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04-15-2011 22:19 by
Gman
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Ooh, baby. Can you do that thing to me with your mouth? You know. Shut it and don't speak. Oh yeah. That's feels awesome.
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04-15-2011 22:11 by
Gman
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I only make a lot of spelling and grammar errors because I have type-o blood.
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04-15-2011 22:08 by
Gman
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After marriage, sloppy seconds means not licking the cake batter spoon first.
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04-15-2011 22:04 by
Gman
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I've been retracing my steps and now I have all these outlines of feet on my floor and still no keys.
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04-15-2011 22:02 by
Gman
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Been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit card out and my pants off but that doesn't really narrow it down much.
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04-15-2011 21:47 by
Gman
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I haven't dated Miss Right yet, but I have dated Miss Guided, Miss Directed, Miss Conduct, Miss Fire, Miss Demeanor, & Miss Ellaneous.
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04-15-2011 21:34 by
Gman
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I like sleeping with deaf women because I can shout out any name I want to.
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04-15-2011 21:31 by
Gman
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I figured out a great way to pick up women. I painted my car to look like a taxi.
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04-15-2011 21:29 by
Gman
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- you know life is hard when gas prices are higher than your GPA!!
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04-15-2011 21:24 by
Carol
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Drunk sayings = Sober thoughts
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04-15-2011 21:21 by
hovo
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wondering what Canadians do for fun between elections?
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04-15-2011 20:35 by
jamine
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I think tonight I'm gonna work on my grammar... Gonna see if I can get drunk enough to type in cursive...
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04-15-2011 20:04
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I'm kinda bored...I think I'm gonna go hang this 'No U-Turn' sign in a cul-de-sac somewhere.
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04-15-2011 19:11 by
J. BIAZA
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The hardest part of growing old is watching my kids grow old...
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04-15-2011 18:26 by
Mario
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sleepy, wish I was a air traffic controler so I can catch up on my rest...
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04-15-2011 16:43 by
CG
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I swear I have more hair on the left side of my head. That's weird.
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04-15-2011 16:04 by
jgmitts
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