Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon 2/3 of the motorists on the road do not deserve the privilege to drive, what they do deserve is to be taken out back and beaten with an old iron pipe.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?" You don't understand how sex works, do you, Michael Bolton?
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:28 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin wants to trade Mark her name. What the hell's Mark gonna do with it??
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:26 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gatorade's motto is "Is it in you?" ... Coincidentally, that was also MY motto the first several times I tried to have sex
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:19 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ooh, baby. Can you do that thing to me with your mouth? You know. Shut it and don't speak. Oh yeah. That's feels awesome.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:11 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only make a lot of spelling and grammar errors because I have type-o blood.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:08 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon After marriage, sloppy seconds means not licking the cake batter spoon first.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:04 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been retracing my steps and now I have all these outlines of feet on my floor and still no keys.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:02 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit card out and my pants off but that doesn't really narrow it down much.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:47 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't dated Miss Right yet, but I have dated Miss Guided, Miss Directed, Miss Conduct, Miss Fire, Miss Demeanor, & Miss Ellaneous.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:34 by Gman Comments (2)  


   messageicon I like sleeping with deaf women because I can shout out any name I want to.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:31 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I figured out a great way to pick up women. I painted my car to look like a taxi.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:29 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon - you know life is hard when gas prices are higher than your GPA!!
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:24 by Carol Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drunk sayings = Sober thoughts
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:21 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what Canadians do for fun between elections?
←Rate | 04-15-2011 20:35 by jamine Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think tonight I'm gonna work on my grammar... Gonna see if I can get drunk enough to type in cursive...
←Rate | 04-15-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm kinda bored...I think I'm gonna go hang this 'No U-Turn' sign in a cul-de-sac somewhere.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 19:11 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest part of growing old is watching my kids grow old...
←Rate | 04-15-2011 18:26 by Mario Comments (0)  


   messageicon sleepy, wish I was a air traffic controler so I can catch up on my rest...
←Rate | 04-15-2011 16:43 by CG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear I have more hair on the left side of my head. That's weird.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 16:04 by jgmitts Comments (0)  



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