Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon But, officer, that school zone pulled out right in front of me!!
←Rate | 04-19-2011 09:16 by ~heZz~ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol does not make you FAT....it makes you LEAN.....against tables, chairs, floors, walls, and ugly people.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 09:10 by PANTERA Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a girl flushes a public toilet with her foot, there is probably a lot of other things she won't do.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 08:45 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so unreliable that I'm thinking about dressing up as a calculator for Halloween just so my friends can finally count on me.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 08:41 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got so much crap to do and I'm sitting around like a dingleberry.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 08:36 by jgmitts Comments (0)  


   messageicon men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from woman : a little bit support and a little bit of freedom
←Rate | 04-19-2011 08:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walking thru a spider web instantly turns you into a ninja
←Rate | 04-19-2011 07:51 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't change ONE second of the past , and who knows what tomorrow will bring but today is the present , and presents are gifts we should all cherish !!
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What not to say to a cop if your pulled over: What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained specialist.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm depressed I cut myself.....................a piece of cake.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you think that an onion is the only veg to make you cry,try gettin wacked in the face with a POTATO!
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2 men went inside a bar.I was one of them.I dont remember anything else.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Eve cursed the entire human race just for an apple, I can only imagine what she would do for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when my nightmares were over about you, you walk in my life in reality.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon these foreigners are all the same, once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drink triple, see double, act single ;)
←Rate | 04-19-2011 04:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I sing a song and the artist gets it wrong
←Rate | 04-19-2011 02:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i thought it was going to take us couple of days to beat libya! what happened? we should leave those arabic countries alone. we just cant beat them!
←Rate | 04-19-2011 01:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
←Rate | 04-19-2011 01:25 by remy911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I get so angry I give myself tourette's
←Rate | 04-19-2011 01:09 Comments (0)  



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