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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm A Serial Poker >:DD
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04-21-2011 01:21 by
joshin
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Why does the Pope mobile have bulletproof glass? If the Pope is afraid to die, what chance does anyone else have!
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04-21-2011 00:36 by
@daddybullfrog1
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I never point fingers but if you look at my toes... they're fully indicating whose a f*cking liar.
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04-20-2011 23:34 by
@The69Sheriff
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If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.
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04-20-2011 23:01 by
BEGO
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Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!
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04-20-2011 22:37 by
BEGO
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Girls have a bad habit of holding on for too long. Guys have a bad habit of letting go too easily.
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04-20-2011 22:24 by
Evelyn
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Single guys need to get a fake ring. I've been hit on more in the last year since I have been married than in a LONG time. You women are scandalous, making me buy a bigger memory card for my contact list and all. Geesh!!!
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04-20-2011 22:20
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Mutton Chops will never go out of style in my eyes.
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04-20-2011 21:50 by
jgmitts
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It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk.
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04-20-2011 21:48 by
Abbybaby34
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There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
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04-20-2011 21:40 by
Mahdi H
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I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
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04-20-2011 21:09
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Today is National Marijuana Day. A day when…uh…wow, Wolf Blitzer is SO funny.
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04-20-2011 20:51 by
Cornholio
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NEWS FLASH: 2 air traffic controllers fired for sleeping on the job, someone might want to wake them up to tell them the news.......
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04-20-2011 19:52 by
Bill
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The best part about fighting is the make uo sex? Well, unless that argument involves your parents.
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04-20-2011 19:27
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I watched Abc's show 'Happy Ending'....totally not what I expected. It was a regular show. WTF! haha!!!!(mood:cheated)
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04-20-2011 18:51 by
rudedog
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sometimes I fill my blow up doll with helium so she plays hard to get.
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04-20-2011 18:42
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mu-FASA
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04-20-2011 18:20 by
Evely
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If you google “MySpace” your computer will ask “Are you serious right now?”
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04-20-2011 17:24 by
BEGO
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Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville.
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04-20-2011 17:23 by
BEGO
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Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did.
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04-20-2011 17:15 by
BEGO
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