Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4982 of 5594

   messageicon I phoned up a big company today to complain. I said, "Can I speak to the Chairman please?" The snooty woman on the phone replied, "Actually it's ChairWOMAN." I said, "Oh, okay, in that case can I speak to the Vice Chairman please?"
←Rate | 04-21-2011 10:38 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs a "People you need to delete" list....
←Rate | 04-21-2011 10:29 by @mdugama Comments (0)  


   messageicon The whole idea of april 20th puzzles me.. hitlers brithday? the columbine high school shootings? why celebrate tragedy? so many questions, so many questions
←Rate | 04-21-2011 09:59 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Happy National Employer Random Drug Testing Day everyone!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 09:54 by mntnbikerbw Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nails didn't keep Christ to the cross, His love for you did. Have a Happy Easter.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 07:53 by Choosejoy Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC NEWS: Apple sues Samsung for 'copying' . Samsung retaliate with name calling and telling the teacher.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 05:26 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older I get, the more I come to realize that I just don't care what the hell others think.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 03:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? (A} Almost Boobs {B} Barely there, {C} Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H)Help me, I've fallen
←Rate | 04-21-2011 03:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated."
←Rate | 04-21-2011 03:14 by Jen Comments (0)  


   messageicon i feel like a jerk. I just laughed at a life alert commercial.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 02:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a stranger starts talking to you in an elevator, just say: "I don't want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you" that'll shut 'em up.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 02:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't eat your magic mushrooms, the talking purple unicorn did!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Evil enters like a splinter and spreads like herpes...
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:39 by CJ in CALI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does a woman have two sets of lips? One to argue with and the other to apologize
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my mom said "i don't wanna fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:34 by Desttiinnyy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got curtains that couldn't pass a drug test.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:31 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon man says to wife "what would you do if I won the lottery"wife replies "take half and leave your ass"husband replies "good,i won 12 dollars here is 6 now get the hell out
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:30 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon would rather have a cure for the common hangover than the common cold.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:28 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon with great power,come's a great electric bill.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:27 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing more say's you are a facebook stalker. Then updating your status with a girls name. When you meant to put it in the search box.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:26 by Destiny Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left