Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Was filling up my vehicle and started yelling "FIRE! FIRE!". The attendant came running out to help, "there's no fire". "I know...but I read somewhere that no one comes to help when you're being raped"
←Rate | 04-23-2011 02:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you poked me doesn't mean I'm going to poke you back. I've seen first hand what poking leads to and I can't afford 18yrs of child support right now.
←Rate | 04-23-2011 01:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♥ True love doesn't have a happy ending. It has NO ending ♥
←Rate | 04-23-2011 00:50 by Danny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mistakes make you think. They make you realize that sometimes there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 23:01 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say best friends are hard to find. That's because the best one's already mine.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 22:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage: finding that special someone you want to annoy the rest of your life
←Rate | 04-22-2011 22:55 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you noticed in movies they ask someone wearing a mask "who are you?"
←Rate | 04-22-2011 22:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you poke someone on facebook, where exactly are you supposed to be poking them ?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 22:44 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving down the road I saw a person hitch hiking, the sign read "Heaven Bound". Me being the good person I am, I hit that person, I hope they made it!
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What prescription was Peter on that caused cotton tail? I've had cotton mouth, but can't even imagine having a parched behind. Poor Peter.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:27 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the bank wanted the security picture on the front of my debit card to be accurate for my account, they would've let me frown.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:25 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its times like these that makes me wish I had that BUDWEISER app for my Iphone
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would have been a more believable story if Jesus had died on a Monday and then rose again on a Saturday, just like I do every week.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:22 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they weren't meant to be used to get attention, God would've put boobs in a different place.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:21 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a truck, shovel and a map, I dare you to keep pissing me off.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:18 by JB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson should get hitched... Just sayin.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So 'Lol' has become the new , 'Yep I have nothing to say'
←Rate | 04-22-2011 19:07 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 18:57 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Easter Bunny leaves you Jelly Beans, don't eat the brown ones.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 17:36 by jgmitts Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok let me see if I have this straight. When counting calories, if you forget to write them down, you don't have to count them, right?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 17:29 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  



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