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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Maury told me "You are Not the father"... That just made my day!
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04-22-2011 01:40
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When you start complaining that all your dreams have not come true, you have to realize that not all your nightmares came true either.
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04-22-2011 00:55 by
punkie
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I have to give those Subway sandwich artists credit -- their works do look quite a bit like sandwiches.
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04-22-2011 00:03 by
Geoffrey B
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Whenever I walk into my local coffee shop, I like to pretend I'm an outlaw walking into an old west saloon. They love it!
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04-22-2011 00:02 by
Geoffrey B
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Left Cocoa Puffs on the Eater Bunnys chair at the mall!
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04-21-2011 23:57 by
tom
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I don't want to be everything to everybody, I just wanna be someThing to somebody.
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04-21-2011 23:57
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This page is meant to be funny, can we please keep religion out of this!!
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04-21-2011 23:31 by
Mahdi H
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Obama is in town. Traffic is bad. I won't be able to vote for him in 2012 because I'll still be sitting in my car.
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04-21-2011 23:30 by
geez
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They say curiosity killed the cat. Which is true, because "curiosity" is also what I nicknamed my shovel.
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04-21-2011 23:27 by
Geoffrey B
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I was in a Ross' today. Do they always look like they were just hit by an earthquake?
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04-21-2011 23:20 by
Geoffrey B
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You call them "bullies." I call them "crusaders against childhood obesity."
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04-21-2011 23:20 by
Geoffrey B
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Dude, I'm not asking you to know pi to the 50th place, I'm asking you to know who's got right of way at a damn intersection!
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04-21-2011 23:19 by
Geoffrey B
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when my girlfriend says stop when having sex, thats when it's Hammer Time
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04-21-2011 22:51 by
aaron Lopez
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90% of the prison poulation believes in God. 90% of The Academy of Sciences are atheists. Personally, I'd rather have the guy in the white lab coat as a bunk mate
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04-21-2011 21:56 by
Gil
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Haters are like crickets, you can't see them but you can hear them, and when you walk by them they are quiet.
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04-21-2011 21:56 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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Dear T-Rex, Brontosaurus, & Velociraptor. Sorry I ran out of space on my Ark for you.... Noah
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04-21-2011 21:21 by
Gil
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If you happen to see a bunny laying brown eggs, do not eat them. ITS NOT CHOCOLATE!!!! HAPPY EASTER!!!!
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04-21-2011 21:07 by
Average JOE
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So umm.....Friday. I've been waiting for a while now wondering watcha waiting for?? Rebecca is not gonna introduce you every week now c'mon!
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04-21-2011 20:59
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If you are a proud owner or planning on purchasing one of those hippy mobile Smart cars, I have some friendly advice for you.....OMG...F-OFF!!!!
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04-21-2011 20:32 by
HG
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I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water... it's obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola."
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04-21-2011 20:31 by
Dylan Bosch
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