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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil..
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04-04-2011 01:52
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attention: Helen Waite is now in charge of my schedule. if you need me to do anything just go to Helen Waite.
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04-04-2011 01:49
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I just read Snooki from "Jersey Shore" hates her nickname, and wants to go back to using her real name: Bilbo Baggins
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04-04-2011 01:37
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the best way to get out of a text conversation: "The message could not be delivered. Please try again later. Error 226110."
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04-04-2011 00:52 by
@The69Sheriff
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hates people who use facebook to exhibit depression and their general hate for the world...this is not therapy ppl. I dont give a f***
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04-03-2011 23:06
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Maybe it's Maybelline... Maybe it's Photoshop.
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04-03-2011 22:56
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I walked by a tanning salon yesterday and at the door was a black dude handing out flyers and he wore a big card that read *I GOT MY TANNING HERE!!!*
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04-03-2011 22:34
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"Girl, you must have farted, cuz you blew me away"--Using this pick up line as soon as the opportunity presents it self lmfao
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04-03-2011 22:27 by
Luis Lugo
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the more guys I meet, the more I love my dog :)
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04-03-2011 22:15 by
@mollyfaerie
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I'll take Gary Busey & his nonsensical ramblings over Charlie Sheen & his b.s. any day.
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04-03-2011 22:02 by
GRRRRLISME
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It takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.
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04-03-2011 17:46 by
charlied1
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Need relationship advice? Use Baby Philosophy: If it stinks, change it.
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04-03-2011 17:30
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I know a lot of people that remind me of clouds. Mainly because as soon as they disappear my day is brighter.
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04-03-2011 17:23
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need one more Red Light so I can get through this level of Angry Birds.
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04-03-2011 17:21
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Thanks Rebecca Black, because of you I don't know if I should sit in the front seat or the back seat.
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04-03-2011 15:55
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dont be a woman that needs a man, be a woman a man needs
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04-03-2011 15:29
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They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
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04-03-2011 15:21 by
Jason Biaza
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I love the wind.. It's the only time I ever get blown
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04-03-2011 13:43
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Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.
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04-03-2011 13:08 by
Aaron
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Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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04-03-2011 12:55
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