Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I may be fat, but you're ugly – I can lose weight!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 23:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 23:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 23:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being in LOVE is like Being DRUNK. No control over what you do.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 23:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember before the smartphone when you had to take your laptop into the bathroom with you? God, it's like we were cavemen.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just took some candy from my baby nephew. I must say it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be....
←Rate | 04-24-2011 22:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm setting my alarm for 3am Friday, so I can wake up, remember I don't give a shit about the royal wedding and go back to sleep
←Rate | 04-24-2011 22:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I JUST WON MY EASTER EGG HUNT!!! Those 8 year olds didnt stand a chance to my pushing and sprinting. It was kinda like taking candy from a baby!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 22:11 by Kevin Packard Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry if my sarcasm offends you. Not really.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 22:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just sprayed Febreeze's "Brazilian Carnival" air freshener... So far, no party... Guess I'll just sit here and wait on my wax.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 22:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great day with family, great food but right now I am egg-zausted!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 20:33 by jgmitts Comments (0)  


   messageicon "A day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting." -Terri Guillemets
←Rate | 04-24-2011 20:05 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've read the story before the duck dies
←Rate | 04-24-2011 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What a beautiful day in history. A few thousand years ago, a chicken dressed as a rabbit layed the first ever Cadbury Egg.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 19:57 by lakers Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or is everyones day ruined when you hear that J.G. Wentworth commerical? No matter when, where or even how I hear it, that damn commericals song gets stuck in my head. Damn you J.G. Wentworth and you ability to get my cash now!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 18:45 by Rachael Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?... It's gonna take a while to get me hard. I just got laid by some chick.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of my old bills.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 17:43 by Bonnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A. We better get some support or people will think we're nuts.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 17:39 by Bonnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best three Kings of all time!! Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 17:24 by Bonnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahh Easter Sunday, when catholics actually go to church then pretend all year they are religious..
←Rate | 04-24-2011 17:09 by Bob Comments (2)  



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