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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I may be fat, but you're ugly – I can lose weight!
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04-24-2011 23:29 by
BEGO
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By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
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04-24-2011 23:27 by
BEGO
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I laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
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04-24-2011 23:25 by
BEGO
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Being in LOVE is like Being DRUNK. No control over what you do.
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04-24-2011 23:23 by
BEGO
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Remember before the smartphone when you had to take your laptop into the bathroom with you? God, it's like we were cavemen.
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04-24-2011 23:16
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I just took some candy from my baby nephew. I must say it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be....
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04-24-2011 22:36
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I'm setting my alarm for 3am Friday, so I can wake up, remember I don't give a shit about the royal wedding and go back to sleep
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04-24-2011 22:11
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I JUST WON MY EASTER EGG HUNT!!! Those 8 year olds didnt stand a chance to my pushing and sprinting. It was kinda like taking candy from a baby!
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04-24-2011 22:11 by
Kevin Packard
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Sorry if my sarcasm offends you. Not really.
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04-24-2011 22:06
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Just sprayed Febreeze's "Brazilian Carnival" air freshener... So far, no party... Guess I'll just sit here and wait on my wax.
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04-24-2011 22:04
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Great day with family, great food but right now I am egg-zausted!
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04-24-2011 20:33 by
jgmitts
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"A day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting." -Terri Guillemets
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04-24-2011 20:05 by
Mahdi H
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I've read the story before the duck dies
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04-24-2011 19:58
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What a beautiful day in history. A few thousand years ago, a chicken dressed as a rabbit layed the first ever Cadbury Egg.
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04-24-2011 19:57 by
lakers
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it just me, or is everyones day ruined when you hear that J.G. Wentworth commerical? No matter when, where or even how I hear it, that damn commericals song gets stuck in my head. Damn you J.G. Wentworth and you ability to get my cash now!
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04-24-2011 18:45 by
Rachael
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What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?... It's gonna take a while to get me hard. I just got laid by some chick.
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04-24-2011 17:56
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A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of my old bills.
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04-24-2011 17:43 by
Bonnie
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Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A. We better get some support or people will think we're nuts.
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04-24-2011 17:39 by
Bonnie
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Best three Kings of all time!! Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
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04-24-2011 17:24 by
Bonnie
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Ahh Easter Sunday, when catholics actually go to church then pretend all year they are religious..
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04-24-2011 17:09 by
Bob
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