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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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When life throws you a curve, downshift and take it vigorously.
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04-10-2011 04:46
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a man donates blood to his girlfriend. they break up. he says he wants his blood back. she throws a tampon at him and yells 'I'll pay you monthly!!'
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04-10-2011 04:10 by
Danny
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Just because you have headphones in your ears blocking external sound, does not mean your farts to not make noise.
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04-10-2011 04:06 by
BB
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it's going to be cold today, Nips don't lie. - update from Shakira
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04-10-2011 04:04 by
Shakira
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All men were not created equal, look around more often
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04-10-2011 04:03 by
BB
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imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
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04-10-2011 03:40
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When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
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04-10-2011 02:51 by
Hovo
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if you take my jokes to heart... you deserve to be offended!!
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04-10-2011 01:43 by
zman87
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What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.
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04-10-2011 01:37 by
punkie
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Why do they no longer offer drivers ed and sex ed in schools in Mexico? The donkey died....
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04-10-2011 01:31 by
punkie
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Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town.
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04-10-2011 01:29 by
punkie
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If a robin makes red babies and a bluebird makes blue babies, what kind of bird makes no babies? A swallow.
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04-10-2011 01:28 by
punkie
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What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
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04-10-2011 01:26 by
punkie
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Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches......
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04-10-2011 01:25 by
punkie
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The Devil came in all his glory to tempt and recruit me, realized who he was talking to, apologized, and asked me for a job application instead.
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04-10-2011 01:03 by
Danny
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If your vigina is anything like my hand then we should not have a problem
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04-10-2011 00:56 by
SlowMotionNinja
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I was on Facebook before it was cool, and before the rest of you idiots joined.
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04-10-2011 00:54
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going to take over the world by building a large army of highly trained, blood thirsty pomeranians.
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04-10-2011 00:14
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$3.88 until my Visa is maxed out. I'm struggling between the #4 at Burger King or shampoo...
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04-09-2011 23:04
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Watching a good movie but doesn't know why people put sex on DVDs
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04-09-2011 22:08 by
Bob
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