Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon ate broccoli twice yesterday and now his car smells like a mobile crematorium that only cooks buttholes.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 13:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon just ate a Kit Kat and a multivitamin, like a F'n American!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 13:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon noticed that while someone is speaking to him, 80% of his inner dialouge is wondering if his face looks interested
←Rate | 04-29-2011 13:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me or do women's sunglasses get bigger and bigger and bigger?!? Relax with those things, eventually we have to see your face with your colored contacts and fake eye lashes.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 13:02 by DooDoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't watch the royal wedding but I had a disturbing dream that Queen Elizabeth and Queen Latifah did a "chest bump" during the nuptuals! :/
←Rate | 04-29-2011 12:58 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon damn I hope Prince William is Secretly gay. That will split that snooty ass family apart..
←Rate | 04-29-2011 12:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did anyone else see Gary Busey get married this morning?
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:54 by BOO Comments (0)  


   messageicon So they don't have Rogaine in England, huh?
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:53 by Geoffrey B Comments (0)  


   messageicon He's really got his father's scalp.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:52 by Geoffrey B Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had no idea Elton John married Matt Lauer?!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:52 by Geoffrey B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a man that comes out of a bathroom with dry hands...
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:50 by Boo Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning William said "Good morning, Mrs. Duchess," Kate said "Good morning, Mr. Duke," and then a sparrow threw up.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is the Queen dressed like the guy who owned Curious George?
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you need to go grocery shopping when your grapes start tasting like wine
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:37 by BOO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys posting about the royal wedding should have their MAN CARDS revoked!!!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 10:34 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women and tax forms have a lot in common…Men love to cheat on them.
←Rate | 04-29-2011 10:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I sexually active? YES! I get screwed at the gas station once a WEEK!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 10:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good men of this country fought and died to defend my right not to care about British royalty
←Rate | 04-29-2011 10:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont say good morning to me plz. I prefer a Hello!! so I can think its the late day, nite or something besides morning!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 10:10 by vainta Comments (0)  



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