Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Cheated on Facebook with my real life today.

   If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can't figure out who's profile it is, make no mistakes… it's the fat one's.

   got a phone call asking to donate clothes for the starving people of the world..I laughed so hard I cried..if they can fit in my clothes they ain't starvin'!

   Cinco de mayo : or as I call it...The day that all the people who complain about Mexicans all the sudden want to celebrate their holiday just so they have a reason to drink today..

   I can always tell when it is Senior Citizen Discount Day at the grocery near my house. All the blue parking spaces are double parked.

   For you GRINGOS who want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo the right way, you'll need the following: A Loud Mariachi Band, Fajitas, Chihuahua Races in the Backyard, Have all of your guests carpool in one car, and lots of Corona and Tequila! ¡Viva la raza!

   Cinco De Mayo, the only day Americans want to be Mexican

   Happy Cinco de Mayonnaise!

   Marie Osmond remarried her first husband 26 years after their divorce. I wish her and Donny all the best

   a mariachi band, is making fajitas, and organizing chihuahua races in the backyard to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. You know you want to be here...

   For those who will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with "authentic" 36% beef tacos, we pray to the Lord.

   Happy Cinco de drinko, Viva la tequila!!

   So, just wondering...Is the Navy seal who shot Bin Laden going to get the 25 million bounty he so rightly deserves???? HE SHOULD!!!!

   When is cinco de mayo?

   45. People who call with blocked numbers deserve to not get answered!

   + + + R.I.P Claude Choules.....the world's LAST surviving veteran of WWI, who died peacefully at his hostel home in Salter Point, Western Australia, at the mighty age of 110. I salute you, Sir. May you have the long, dignified sleep you deserve. + + +

   I judge women by how comfortable their shoes are.

   We can learn at least one thing from all those villains from those superhero movies. They never run from a fight, even if they knew they had no chance of winning!

   how do you scare a bee ? BOO-BEE!

   Navy seals now it's time 2 go after the one responsible for raising gas prices !!!