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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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When I'm depressed I cut myself.....................a piece of cake.
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04-19-2011 04:12
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if you think that an onion is the only veg to make you cry,try gettin wacked in the face with a POTATO!
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04-19-2011 04:12
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2 men went inside a bar.I was one of them.I dont remember anything else.
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04-19-2011 04:10
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If Eve cursed the entire human race just for an apple, I can only imagine what she would do for a Klondike bar.
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04-19-2011 04:08
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Just when my nightmares were over about you, you walk in my life in reality.
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04-19-2011 04:04
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these foreigners are all the same, once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
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04-19-2011 04:04
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Drink triple, see double, act single ;)
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04-19-2011 04:01
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I hate when I sing a song and the artist gets it wrong
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04-19-2011 02:38
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i thought it was going to take us couple of days to beat libya! what happened? we should leave those arabic countries alone. we just cant beat them!
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04-19-2011 01:50
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asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
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04-19-2011 01:25 by
remy911
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Sometimes I get so angry I give myself tourette's
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04-19-2011 01:09
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I think it's about time we, as a sophisticated society, start getting birds to wear diapers.
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04-19-2011 01:03 by
punkie
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Heard its pretty hard to get a medical marijuana card, I'll be right back, I'm gonna go jump off my roof!
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04-19-2011 00:50 by
PuffinTreez420
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just read that women are smarter than men. Really?! Have you ever met a man that "fell in" the toilet in the middle of the night?
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04-19-2011 00:36 by
flinnie
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Just Ferdette About It.... Teach Me How To Jimmer
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04-19-2011 00:20
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A good box of wine will turn any ordinary meal into an extraordinary meal.
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04-19-2011 00:09 by
Goodeolboy
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Creating creative statuses is one of the many habits of highly effective people!
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04-18-2011 23:21 by
J. BIAZA
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Man am I tired, it's time to pretend I'm an air traffic controler...
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04-18-2011 23:01 by
Sando
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You know what sucks, when the people you are staying with have a grandfather clock and it chimes the number of hours. Know what sucks more, it is set to military time.
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04-18-2011 22:41
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Do you think that illegal immigration is a real problem? A. Yes------- 20% B. No-------- 10% C. No comprende---70%
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04-18-2011 22:33 by
Cornholio
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