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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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OK am not one to brag..but I think I deserve a medal..I Just rescued a beer that was trapped in the fridge!
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04-20-2011 11:17
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Be nice to your laptop/smartphone today. SkyNet was supposed to become self-aware last night, April 19th 2011. If all goes well we can avoid Judgement Day tomorrow.
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04-20-2011 08:51 by
Gator
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“I like smoking a pipe of sweet hemp.” – Abraham Lincoln
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04-20-2011 07:35 by
MikeM
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420 is the day we celebrate marijuana. 421 is the day employers celebrate random drug testing!
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04-20-2011 06:31
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Advice for today: Puff puff, Pass...don't get greedy.
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04-20-2011 06:30
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''A married man is 4 times more likely to die during sex if his partner isn't his wife.'' Especially if his wife owns a gun.
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04-20-2011 06:20
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My son is being forced to smoke by our French exchange student....Pierre Pressure
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04-20-2011 06:00
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A friend of mine just married a Chinese billionaire. Cha Ching
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04-20-2011 05:58
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Thinks they should change "I now pronounce you man and wife" to FINISH HIM!!!
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04-20-2011 05:48
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looked at my unmade bed this morning and decided it was art in another medium and I should not destroy it
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04-20-2011 05:45
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whats with these punks with their brightly coloured hair doing down the pub , I thought I stumbled into fraggle rock
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04-20-2011 05:43 by
Q
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Fast food places gonna be bumpin today, Happy 4/20 (̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~
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04-20-2011 05:42 by
Bill
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Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in my family. Doctor: No, the problem is no one runs in your family.
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04-20-2011 05:39
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Yahoo News - "World's oldest man dies". Why does this keep happening?!
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04-20-2011 05:23 by
@clarkysj
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Boy goes to a strip club; His mom gets angry and asks him: "did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?"; Boy: ''yes I saw Dad
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04-20-2011 05:22
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My friend told me, "Smart men make great husbands!" Being the guy I am, I had to correct her, so I said "smart men don't get married"
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04-20-2011 05:20
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OK Guys, you'restuck in bed between the most beautiful girl in the world and a gay guy. Who do you turn your back to?
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04-20-2011 05:17
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Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves
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04-20-2011 05:14
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Women have to deal with periods and pregnancy. Men have to deal with Women. It's all about balance.
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04-20-2011 05:07
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When I was a kid my family was so poor that the only time we got to eat meat was when we bit our tongue!
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04-20-2011 04:57
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