Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon OK am not one to brag..but I think I deserve a medal..I Just rescued a beer that was trapped in the fridge!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be nice to your laptop/smartphone today. SkyNet was supposed to become self-aware last night, April 19th 2011. If all goes well we can avoid Judgement Day tomorrow.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 08:51 by Gator Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I like smoking a pipe of sweet hemp.” – Abraham Lincoln
←Rate | 04-20-2011 07:35 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon 420 is the day we celebrate marijuana. 421 is the day employers celebrate random drug testing!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 06:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Advice for today: Puff puff, Pass...don't get greedy.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 06:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''A married man is 4 times more likely to die during sex if his partner isn't his wife.'' Especially if his wife owns a gun.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 06:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son is being forced to smoke by our French exchange student....Pierre Pressure
←Rate | 04-20-2011 06:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend of mine just married a Chinese billionaire. Cha Ching
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks they should change "I now pronounce you man and wife" to FINISH HIM!!!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon looked at my unmade bed this morning and decided it was art in another medium and I should not destroy it
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon whats with these punks with their brightly coloured hair doing down the pub , I thought I stumbled into fraggle rock
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:43 by Q Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fast food places gonna be bumpin today, Happy 4/20 (̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:42 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in my family. Doctor: No, the problem is no one runs in your family.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yahoo News - "World's oldest man dies". Why does this keep happening?!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:23 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy goes to a strip club; His mom gets angry and asks him: "did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?"; Boy: ''yes I saw Dad
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend told me, "Smart men make great husbands!" Being the guy I am, I had to correct her, so I said "smart men don't get married"
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK Guys, you'restuck in bed between the most beautiful girl in the world and a gay guy. Who do you turn your back to?
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have to deal with periods and pregnancy. Men have to deal with Women. It's all about balance.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid my family was so poor that the only time we got to eat meat was when we bit our tongue!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 04:57 Comments (0)  



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