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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I think it's safe to admit that my Retirement Plan consists solely of me acquiring a Time Machine and knocking Biff out in the parking lot.
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04-20-2011 16:22 by
Gman
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A fool and his money are soon dating women way too good looking for him.
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04-20-2011 15:40 by
Gman
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Try NOT. Do…or do not. There is no try. ~ Master Yoda (Star Wars)
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04-20-2011 15:39 by
Danmanz
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Ladies... As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit on. : p
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04-20-2011 15:21 by
nookie
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It's a lot easier to get over someone when you realize that you shouldn't have been underneath them in the first place.
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04-20-2011 15:20 by
Marshall the Great
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4/20 is the day that some of you celebrate smokin dope. 4/21 is the day your employer (If you have one) celebrates random drug testing!
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04-20-2011 15:05 by
John
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Thank goodness the weather has gotten nice for once. I was getting sick of hearing people complain about the cold. Now I'm ready for people to start complaining about it being too hot. Whine people....whine!!
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04-20-2011 14:55 by
DooDoo
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My divorce judge told me I needed to supply my xwife with a vehicle, I just UPSD'd her a broom
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04-20-2011 14:30 by
SEAN
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I'm dragging ass today. I don't know how dogs wipe like this, it hurts like hell.
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04-20-2011 14:21 by
Gman
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First of all bro if you want to have a more manly image, you need to ditch the zebra stripe seatcovers.
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04-20-2011 14:20
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Dr. Dre has changed the name of his album from Detox to Unicorn. We can only assume it's because it's something that no one is ever gonna actually see
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04-20-2011 14:15 by
Q
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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!! Happy 4/20
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04-20-2011 13:38
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The Nut I busted yesterday was so good it's still on my mind today at work. I'm totally having Pistachios again tonight
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04-20-2011 13:35 by
@daddybullfrog1
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whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never sold marijuana...
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04-20-2011 13:28 by
Lupe
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I'm sick of the cold. I'm ready to complain about it being too hot.
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04-20-2011 12:51 by
@JimGaffigan
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just bought 400 copies of "Hoarders: Season 1." Not sure what to do with them...
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04-20-2011 12:30
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You know you've made wonderful choices in life when you're proud of yourself for not being drunk before lunch.
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04-20-2011 11:53 by
Gman
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You don't celebrate 420 if you get high everyday... That's like singing Happy Birthday to yourself everyday
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04-20-2011 11:52
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Wishing I was hot sticky and sweet.
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04-20-2011 11:49
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Ah April 20th, the day the word dude was born.
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04-20-2011 11:24 by
Jackbrass
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