Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Single guys need to get a fake ring. I've been hit on more in the last year since I have been married than in a LONG time. You women are scandalous, making me buy a bigger memory card for my contact list and all. Geesh!!!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 22:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mutton Chops will never go out of style in my eyes.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:50 by jgmitts Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:48 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:40 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is National Marijuana Day. A day when…uh…wow, Wolf Blitzer is SO funny.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 20:51 by Cornholio Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS FLASH: 2 air traffic controllers fired for sleeping on the job, someone might want to wake them up to tell them the news.......
←Rate | 04-20-2011 19:52 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about fighting is the make uo sex? Well, unless that argument involves your parents.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 19:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched Abc's show 'Happy Ending'....totally not what I expected. It was a regular show. WTF! haha!!!!(mood:cheated)
←Rate | 04-20-2011 18:51 by rudedog Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I fill my blow up doll with helium so she plays hard to get.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 18:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mu-FASA
←Rate | 04-20-2011 18:20 by Evely Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you google “MySpace” your computer will ask “Are you serious right now?”
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:23 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:13 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should allow you to automatically de-friend your ex from all of your friends.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes...
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon When I do something stupid, my first thought is whether it would make a funny story or I should take it to my grave.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 17:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person that first took a Peanut, covered it with Chocolate and a Candy Coat and Stamped a "M" on it....THANK YOU!!!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 16:38 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is 4/21 National Employer Random Drug Testing Day?
←Rate | 04-20-2011 16:24 by Keith Albert Comments (1)  



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