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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I listed the Federal Government as a dependent on my taxes this year
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05-12-2011 15:22 by
Gil
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It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
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05-12-2011 14:57 by
C.J.
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It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.
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05-12-2011 14:25 by
SinghB
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I JUST GOT LAID THIS MORNING!................ Unfortuanately it was at a 7/11 gas pump :(
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05-12-2011 14:24
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Lovin my early Christmas present of a Massage Chair! Work never felt so good!.. Now if someone would just invent a vibrating tampon I could start lovin my periods too!
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05-12-2011 13:53 by
BOO
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checking in. I'm at a party with some people but not saying where or with whom because if you aren't here, you weren't invited.
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05-12-2011 13:52
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I've heard that Apple had to get rid of their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name
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05-12-2011 13:41 by
SEAN
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Can someone tell me why there is braille on the drive thru ATM machine....Am I missing something here
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05-12-2011 13:41 by
SEAN
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Don't worry about the world coming to an end, it,s already tomorrow in Australia
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05-12-2011 13:40 by
@iTechnoBoy
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It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme."
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05-12-2011 13:11 by
Dylan Bosch
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Just because I flirt with you doesnt mean I like you.
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05-12-2011 13:01 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Ironically, I gain my very own instant gratification by denying yours.
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05-12-2011 12:58
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Dear warm weather, thank you for having the wonderful ability to remove clothing from these gorgeous girls on campus
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05-12-2011 12:34 by
j-grab
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I love watching two girls meet for the first time. Its easily the fakest thing I have ever seen.
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05-12-2011 12:29 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Twitter: What's happening? Facebook: What are you thinking? MySpace: Where is everybody?!
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05-12-2011 12:28 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Don't tell me your sorry when your not, you only say sorry when you get caught.
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05-12-2011 12:27 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Dear Nike, I did it. Now what happens? Sincerely, Pregnant teen.
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05-12-2011 12:26 by
@iTechnoBoy
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People who say you "tweet too much" need to take their asses back to MYSPACE cause you won't be seeing anything "too much".
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05-12-2011 12:25 by
@iTechnoBoy
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I like to consider myself like King Soopers...I too, take pride in the quality of my meat.
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05-12-2011 12:20 by
Paul
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Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!"
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05-12-2011 12:14 by
Dylan Bosch
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