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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Mistakes make you think. They make you realize that sometimes there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.
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04-22-2011 23:01 by
BEGO
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People say best friends are hard to find. That's because the best one's already mine.
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04-22-2011 22:58 by
BEGO
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Marriage: finding that special someone you want to annoy the rest of your life
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04-22-2011 22:55 by
BEGO
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Have you noticed in movies they ask someone wearing a mask "who are you?"
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04-22-2011 22:45 by
BEGO
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When you poke someone on facebook, where exactly are you supposed to be poking them ?
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04-22-2011 22:44 by
BEGO
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Driving down the road I saw a person hitch hiking, the sign read "Heaven Bound". Me being the good person I am, I hit that person, I hope they made it!
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04-22-2011 21:29
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What prescription was Peter on that caused cotton tail? I've had cotton mouth, but can't even imagine having a parched behind. Poor Peter.
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04-22-2011 21:27 by
Gman
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If the bank wanted the security picture on the front of my debit card to be accurate for my account, they would've let me frown.
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04-22-2011 21:25 by
Gman
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Its times like these that makes me wish I had that BUDWEISER app for my Iphone
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04-22-2011 21:24
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It would have been a more believable story if Jesus had died on a Monday and then rose again on a Saturday, just like I do every week.
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04-22-2011 21:22 by
Gman
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If they weren't meant to be used to get attention, God would've put boobs in a different place.
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04-22-2011 21:21 by
Gman
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I have a truck, shovel and a map, I dare you to keep pissing me off.
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04-22-2011 21:18 by
JB
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Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson should get hitched... Just sayin.
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04-22-2011 21:02
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So 'Lol' has become the new , 'Yep I have nothing to say'
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04-22-2011 19:07 by
hovo
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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04-22-2011 18:57 by
hovo
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If the Easter Bunny leaves you Jelly Beans, don't eat the brown ones.
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04-22-2011 17:36 by
jgmitts
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Ok let me see if I have this straight. When counting calories, if you forget to write them down, you don't have to count them, right?
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04-22-2011 17:29 by
onecuwldood
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I'm getting my days events mixed up - Good Friday, Earth Day, Birthdays...I just sent someone a "Good Happy Irthday" message :S
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04-22-2011 17:03
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I can't believe UPS stole the "What can brown do for you?" slogan from Ex-Lax. Ain't that some sh*t?
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04-22-2011 16:24 by
Gman
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wondering,What ever happened to those scientists who said pot kills brain cells?
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04-22-2011 15:51
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