Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I've overcome my fear of Friday the 13th, since I don't think my luck can conceivably get any worse!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 00:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just figured i'd remind everyone that tomorrow is friday the 13th so if your luck is anything like mine call into work, wrap yourself in bubble wrap and lock yourself in your house
←Rate | 05-13-2011 00:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wearing flip-flops, a tropical shirt, and smoking a joint with 3 hippie-chicks between renditions of kumbaya...anybody care to join?
←Rate | 05-13-2011 00:06 by nisht meshige Comments (0)  


   messageicon - A blonde text me and said "What does IDK mean?" I text'd back "I don't know." She then text'd me "Dang that sucks nobody knows!"
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:46 by Carol Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: Jamie Lee Curtis to star in new horror movie about a haunted yogurt shop. It's called Paranormal Activia.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..that WINNING but than instant LOSER feeling you get when a girl sends you a sexy pic, and you look at the message details only to find that their are 9 other numbers above yours...awkward...
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:29 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon may not be a millionaire yet but I figure what I have in my pocket combined with 3 vehicles full of gas puts me pretty damned close...
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:18 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like this status if you're a non-comformist.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know why there are no wal-marts in Afghanistan? Cause theres a Target in every corner...
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 22:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor is always talking about the paranormal. Wonder what she will have to say when she finds out I put Mentos in the bird feeder and Diet Coke in the bird bath.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 22:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon feels like a playa... just eye-f**ked these hot twins for a solid 10 seconds and I don't even know their names.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 21:45 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking @ a homeless guy on the bus, how does he know where to get off? ;)
←Rate | 05-12-2011 21:39 by Trishwj Comments (0)  


   messageicon : My neighbours liked my music so much, the called the cops to come and listen.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 21:34 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's never a hobo around when you really need your windshield cleaned
←Rate | 05-12-2011 21:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 100% of my regrets will be when my friends find out exactly where I've been stealing 100% of my statuses. #Faaak!
←Rate | 05-12-2011 21:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys... at what point do they stop being skinny jeans and start being pantyhose?
←Rate | 05-12-2011 20:12 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  



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