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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Right now, millions of people are mourning the fact that their President was born in this country.
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04-28-2011 13:26 by
Marshall the Great
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Sometimes I text my mom just because the thought of her staring puzzled at her phone trying to find her texts is difficult to resist.
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04-28-2011 13:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Why are the people who tell you to calm down always the ones who pissed you off in the first place?
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04-28-2011 13:09 by
Massena43
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thinking since we can get President Obama to show us his birth certificate... I'm now wondering if Sarah Palin's boobs are real? ;)
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04-28-2011 12:15 by
Glen Ahlborn
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Hey, hustler on the corner... you know what drug I would buy from you? Claritin-D 24... but you never have any.
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04-28-2011 12:15 by
@The69Sheriff
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Went bowling last night.... because I like jamming my thumb where a million other people have jammed their thumbs.
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04-28-2011 12:12 by
@The69Sheriff
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Am I the only one who has ever deleted a 'friend' just to use their status that was funny?
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04-28-2011 12:07
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Royal Wedding+Media=Dead Horse
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04-28-2011 11:23 by
Bonnie
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the only thing I find more interesting than the royal wedding right now is everything else
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04-28-2011 10:52 by
marq
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I hate when I have a dream about fighting someone and then waking up and being pissed at them for no good reason
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04-28-2011 10:42 by
Brent
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If facebook is going to block me from making new friends then it shouldnt suggest them at all
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04-28-2011 10:10
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i dont trust people with so many studio photos
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04-28-2011 10:07
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Driving home today I saw a guy in a pink snuggie jogging. Sadly that's not the craziest thing I've seen in this town.
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04-28-2011 10:07 by
flinnie
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If, at any point, you stopped for Hammer Time, I think it is now safe to proceed
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04-28-2011 10:05 by
flinnie
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Sometimes I text my mom just because the thought of her staring puzzled at her phone trying to find her texts is difficult to resist
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04-28-2011 10:03 by
flinnie
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If I blocked you on Facebook, what makes you think I want to talk to you in real life?
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04-28-2011 09:47 by
JC
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non-stop coverage of the royal wedding in the US! The news acts like we are a former English colony or something...
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04-28-2011 09:37
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My neighbor is having such a hard time, he was divorced 2 months ago and then broke his wrist this week- I told him look at the bright side, now you can change your relationship from single to its complicated
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04-28-2011 08:52 by
SEAN
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People who have high and unnecessary attitudes deserve the standing ovation of my tallest finger !!!!!!!
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04-28-2011 07:36
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Social Security checks are go paperless. Cause if the is something senior citizens are good at it's online banking.
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04-28-2011 07:34 by
otis
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