Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The only reason nice guys finish last is because they're holding the door for everyone else.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 21:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people would be in such good shape if they ran as much as their mouth does
←Rate | 05-17-2011 21:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hollywood is doing another “Mad Max” movie, where gas is so expensive that people steal and kill to get it. It takes place sometime in the future — like this coming July...
←Rate | 05-17-2011 20:46 by DavidB via Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise & no one believes it was the chair, so you try to do it again.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 20:19 by @iTechnoBoy Comments (0)  


   messageicon UseI think I missed the driver ed class on how inching forward every 5 seconds at a red light makes it turn green faster
←Rate | 05-17-2011 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give yourself an even greater challenge than the one you are trying to master and you will develop the powers necessary to overcome the original difficulty.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 19:44 by CJ in CALI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oprah's LAST LIVE show is happening tonight at the United Center. Rumors have it that amongst giving away Lake Michigan or a house right next to Mt. Rushmore's presidents, she might just be giving away another presidency!
←Rate | 05-17-2011 19:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon headed to check my MYSPACE... (crickets chirping)
←Rate | 05-17-2011 19:20 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... Dude, turn it down before your windows fall out.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 19:19 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon WALL-MARTIANS... it's worth the trip
←Rate | 05-17-2011 19:15 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in that awkward stage between jail bait and a cougar - Janie
←Rate | 05-17-2011 18:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apocalypse shopping list: 1. Flame thrower 2. 25 boxes of aluminum foil 3. Pogo stick 4. 3 dozen wind up chattering teeth 5. 20 pounds of Lobster tail (Carman Electra's favorite) 6. 15 cases Grey Goose vodka 7. Strobe light 8. Disco Ball
←Rate | 05-17-2011 18:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And the Thunder rolls... Right outta the playoffs.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 18:25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon wondering, can I still use the big stall if my handicap is being emotionally crippled?
←Rate | 05-17-2011 18:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll probably be too drunk to remember the apocalypse
←Rate | 05-17-2011 18:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of LIberty.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:54 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just winked at myself in a mirror and physically felt the soul leave my body.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:51 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Easiest way out of Jury duty, after the States Attorney tells you he/she has no more questions, thank them for their time, fist pump them and say “ May the force be with you”
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the Rapture, can I have your car?
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:24 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon *Public Service Announcement: YOU CAN NOT find out who saw your profile! Jordan does NOT make high heels! YOU WILL NOT know what that man saw when he walked in on his daughter! YOU WILL NOT see pics of Osama Bin Laden's dead body! There are NO free iPads!
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:06 by curtis Comments (0)  



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