Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rapture Prank: Put small piles of clothes around local churches the morning of 5/22 & record reactions : )
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:11 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is not sufficient to be a success; it is also necessary for your friends to be failures.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is light at the end of the tunnel...order more tunnel.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no such thing as instant experience.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sucky thing about rapture is that I was totally going to start a workout regime THAT NIGHT. Stupid end of days.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 06:41 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just choked on someone's fart cloud in the computer lab. The Rapture can't come soon enough.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 06:38 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why cant I find Stephen Hawkings new techno album 'heaven is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark' on Itunes?????
←Rate | 05-18-2011 06:37 by SpawnstaR Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
←Rate | 05-18-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jennifer Anistons dog Normam dies -CNN... CNN, Dude seriously! www.whocares.com
←Rate | 05-18-2011 03:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got their girl going down like the ps3 network!
←Rate | 05-18-2011 03:26 by J-Fraze Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, don't text while being raptured.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 01:55 by JoeyBee Comments (0)  


   messageicon For sale. One Afghan bed, no longer required as owner has gone to sea. Looks new but it has bin laid in.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 01:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who bleach their mustaches, clearly don't understand the problem with mustaches.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cops came at my house last night and told me my dogs had been chasing someone on a scooter. I told them off. My dogs don't even have a scooter..
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:47 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:44 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wife and I to spice things up have been getting into S&M. But it can be dangerous so you have to have a safety word. Mine is "bor....ing"
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:15 by @daddybullfrog1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon no it is not daughters week, or son's week or mothers or fathers week! If ya really give a sh!t about them, go to their house, look them in the eye and tell them!
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just winked at myself in my side view mirror...I must have my game on!?
←Rate | 05-17-2011 23:49 Comments (0)  



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