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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast
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05-18-2011 07:22
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Rapture Prank: Put small piles of clothes around local churches the morning of 5/22 & record reactions : )
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05-18-2011 07:11 by
Sully
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It is not sufficient to be a success; it is also necessary for your friends to be failures.
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05-18-2011 07:10
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Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
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05-18-2011 07:07
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If there is light at the end of the tunnel...order more tunnel.
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05-18-2011 07:01
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There is no such thing as instant experience.
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05-18-2011 06:45
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The sucky thing about rapture is that I was totally going to start a workout regime THAT NIGHT. Stupid end of days.
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05-18-2011 06:41 by
Sully
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Just choked on someone's fart cloud in the computer lab. The Rapture can't come soon enough.
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05-18-2011 06:38 by
Sully
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Why cant I find Stephen Hawkings new techno album 'heaven is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark' on Itunes?????
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05-18-2011 06:37 by
SpawnstaR
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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
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05-18-2011 05:51 by
flinnie
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Jennifer Anistons dog Normam dies -CNN... CNN, Dude seriously! www.whocares.com
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05-18-2011 03:40
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I got their girl going down like the ps3 network!
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05-18-2011 03:26 by
J-Fraze
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Remember, don't text while being raptured.
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05-18-2011 01:55 by
JoeyBee
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For sale. One Afghan bed, no longer required as owner has gone to sea. Looks new but it has bin laid in.
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05-18-2011 01:50
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Women who bleach their mustaches, clearly don't understand the problem with mustaches.
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05-18-2011 00:54
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The cops came at my house last night and told me my dogs had been chasing someone on a scooter. I told them off. My dogs don't even have a scooter..
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05-18-2011 00:47 by
scottyp
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I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
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05-18-2011 00:44 by
Rick H.
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The wife and I to spice things up have been getting into S&M. But it can be dangerous so you have to have a safety word. Mine is "bor....ing"
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05-18-2011 00:15 by
@daddybullfrog1
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no it is not daughters week, or son's week or mothers or fathers week! If ya really give a sh!t about them, go to their house, look them in the eye and tell them!
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05-18-2011 00:00
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I just winked at myself in my side view mirror...I must have my game on!?
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05-17-2011 23:49
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