Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon She: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? He: No. I think that's imagination.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 22:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest difference between my wife and a bear is that sometimes, if I play dead, the bear will leave me alone.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 22:01 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jail..the government's way of sending you to your room.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 22:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn't reach very far.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:59 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is always having a good time, till someone poops in the punch bowl
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:28 by Teresa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when you think your the center of attetion...I show up
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:13 by Teresa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just to let you know, Tequila and Tazers are a bad combo. We will miss you Sparky.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard that you should carry whiskey with you in case of snakebite. In related news: I just bought a snake.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cup of care \_/ ... ooh look... it's empty..
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd f**k your brains out...unfortunately someone beat me to it
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:55 by Teresa Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say I'm fine it doesn't always mean I'm fine, but what it does mean is leave me the hell alone
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wouldn't have to manage her anger if certain people would manage their stupidity.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of ways I could care less is astounding!
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you need more instructions, please refer to the users manual, or put your hands together, bow your head and contact tech support!
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world did not end on the 21st. It was just rebooted. Please be sure your security software is up to date. Run a full scan of your life and remove any malicious files which may be damaging your joy, stealing your hope, or slowing down your blessings. I
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's perfectly normal and all-American to eat peanut butter off of a steak knife ;) Just be careful!
←Rate | 05-23-2011 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when your friends gets in the club and you don't...lol...
←Rate | 05-23-2011 19:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right hook!! Right hook!! Body blow!! Body blow!! Uppercut!! Uppercut!! the last entry in "Glass Joe's" diary....
←Rate | 05-23-2011 19:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Atheists - 2 Harold Camping - 0
←Rate | 05-23-2011 19:32 Comments (0)  



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