Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If I slept with a prostitute, when we finished I would tell her that I am also a prostitute and we can just call it even.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men think about sex every 7 seconds. Which is why I eat hot dogs in 6 seconds, so it doesn't get weird.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is absolutely nothing funnier than yelling "HE'S STEALING MY BABY!" at a dad having a hard time with his kid in public.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tired of the dying person who keeps emailing with his billion dollars. I hope he dies soon so he would quit sending the emails.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That ackward moment when a beautiful woman is waving at you with enthusiasm, and, it turns out to someone behind you.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza, and then insist that he called me.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who feels that if I had to describe urine's color and possible taste, that I should point to a yellow Vitamin Water?
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:52 by Kelevra Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kevin Durant, it is time to take your backpack and go home!
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:50 by Brent Comments (0)  


   messageicon i need to find cinderella because I'm tired of running into her stuck-up cant take a joke high maintence sisters
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon now that oprah is gone, Can we put daily football on?
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:28 by SPerminator Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont ever tell someone you'll do something when pigs fly........cause cops ride in helicopters now.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:16 by average joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Oprah your shows over,,,go to the dam gym ,, and try and lose some weight already,,,!!!
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A thunderstorm is God's way of saying his electronics will always be better than yours
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:18 by PTV Comments (0)  


   messageicon Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon About 50% of the time “good luck” means “effff you.”
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you're late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who predicted the end of the world moved the date to Oct/Nov. That's not the end of the world, it's just another Twilight film.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon 8 year olds today have Facebooks, twitter, phones, ipods. When I was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon wish all my electronics came with as much memory as a girlfriend or wife.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a roller coaster. You can either scream every time there is a bump or you can throw your hands up and enjoy the ride.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 20:04 by serina Comments (0)  



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