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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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MAN! Are they EVER going to catch that Phil Dirt guy? I've been seeing wanted signs for him for YEARS.
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05-28-2011 15:33 by
Carol Costello
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My wife and I do it Doggy Style , I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead
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05-28-2011 15:06 by
Banjaxed
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that awkward moment when two peodos both pretending to be kids arrange a meeting over facebook and then meet up
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05-28-2011 14:02
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just rescued some wine.. it was trapped in a bottle. I saved the day!
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05-28-2011 13:56 by
abbybaby34
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Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don't block the view.
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05-28-2011 13:55 by
abbybaby34
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My pillow is about to get some head......NAPTIME!!! ;)
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05-28-2011 13:46
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No one knows the true meaning of desperation until you run over a banana peel in Mario Kart
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05-28-2011 13:28 by
Pichota
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That moment of panic when you accidentally hurt someone else's child and the parents are in the next room
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05-28-2011 13:11
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Got "White Boy Wasted" last night.. it's only right I go see The Hangover Part II today.. :)
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05-28-2011 13:08 by
@RonnieChapman
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i love the people who say their company is priceless!!.. to me if it lacks a price, it more likely worthless!!
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05-28-2011 13:01 by
bfr5858
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•I have an amazing ability! I find objects just before people lose them. The police, however, call it theft.
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05-28-2011 12:54 by
Asia
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•Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
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05-28-2011 12:46 by
serina
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The funny thing about life is, it can change your worst problem into the funniest joke. It just needs time.
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05-28-2011 12:42 by
serina
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If the world's a stage, maybe some of us should get off.
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05-28-2011 12:28
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That moment of panic when you clog someone else's toilet and you realize that don't have a plunger in the bathroom!!
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05-28-2011 11:20
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The question isn't "Will Sarah Palin run in 2012?", it's "Who will be President in 2014 when she quits?"..
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05-28-2011 11:00
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Its better to have a long distance relationship as phone calls are cheaper than fuel prices
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05-28-2011 06:27
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Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.
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05-28-2011 02:41 by
bigtimebrent
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I'm a little disappointed.. I set three boobytraps last night and didn't catch any!
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05-28-2011 01:01
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Loving my new underwear...at least somethings gripping my ass
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05-28-2011 00:50 by
Brett
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