Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Men think about sex every 7 seconds. Which is why I eat hot dogs in 6 seconds, so it doesn't get weird.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is absolutely nothing funnier than yelling "HE'S STEALING MY BABY!" at a dad having a hard time with his kid in public.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tired of the dying person who keeps emailing with his billion dollars. I hope he dies soon so he would quit sending the emails.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That ackward moment when a beautiful woman is waving at you with enthusiasm, and, it turns out to someone behind you.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza, and then insist that he called me.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who feels that if I had to describe urine's color and possible taste, that I should point to a yellow Vitamin Water?
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:52 by Kelevra Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kevin Durant, it is time to take your backpack and go home!
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:50 by Brent Comments (0)  


   messageicon i need to find cinderella because I'm tired of running into her stuck-up cant take a joke high maintence sisters
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon now that oprah is gone, Can we put daily football on?
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:28 by SPerminator Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont ever tell someone you'll do something when pigs fly........cause cops ride in helicopters now.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 23:16 by average joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Oprah your shows over,,,go to the dam gym ,, and try and lose some weight already,,,!!!
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A thunderstorm is God's way of saying his electronics will always be better than yours
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:18 by PTV Comments (0)  


   messageicon Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon About 50% of the time “good luck” means “effff you.”
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you're late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who predicted the end of the world moved the date to Oct/Nov. That's not the end of the world, it's just another Twilight film.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon 8 year olds today have Facebooks, twitter, phones, ipods. When I was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon wish all my electronics came with as much memory as a girlfriend or wife.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 22:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a roller coaster. You can either scream every time there is a bump or you can throw your hands up and enjoy the ride.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 20:04 by serina Comments (0)  


   messageicon so Oprah's last show was today... what are her minions going to do now that she is gone from tv? there are housewives in KY who need someone to tell them what books to read and what Scientology is doing to Tom Cruise.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 19:58 Comments (0)  



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