Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I love when bicthes make status about how much the hate b**ches
←Rate | 05-26-2011 21:44 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to everyone who ever gave GOD I mean Bishop Eddie Long Stroke money. Your money got put to good use today. I'm sure GOD is proud. Shout out to the Building Fund also. That private bedroom he has in his office must be nice.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 21:37 by @qpid901 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why can you buy movies at Walmart with nude scenes in them and can't by a CD with cussin??
←Rate | 05-26-2011 21:09 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol is very very bad for you. It makes you admit stuff you wouldn't normally admit while sober. Trust me.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 20:35 by Adrienne Ogier x Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking that Barney Frank's boyfriend already had a position at Fanny....
←Rate | 05-26-2011 20:28 by cornholio Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think paper beats rock...Hold a piece of paper up in front of your face and I'll throw a rock at it.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 19:27 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new favorite thing to do is slip a kid $20 while his parents aren't looking and quietly whisper: "This is from your real father."
←Rate | 05-26-2011 18:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my words fail, I try interpretive dancing... that usual works
←Rate | 05-26-2011 18:33 by datjusthappened Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass?
←Rate | 05-26-2011 18:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suck at sleep.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 17:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they EVER put a DUI checkpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru, it's safe to say we're all screwed.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 17:34 by L.T. Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Why did you just take my Napkin? I wasn't done with MY napkin..I had a special bond with that napkin... Don't give me a new napkin!..I don't know this NAPKIN! This Napkins a damn stranger!
←Rate | 05-26-2011 17:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would buy a big dog and pay a midget to ride it
←Rate | 05-26-2011 16:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What gets longer when pulled, fits between a women's boobs, inserts neatly in a hole and works best when jerked hard?...A SEAT BELT
←Rate | 05-26-2011 16:16 by Steven Comments (0)  


   messageicon All them damn rich people carry around small dogs... When I am rich I'm gonna carry a midget!!!
←Rate | 05-26-2011 15:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon that awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd keep playing. I don't think the heavy stuff will come down for a while.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 14:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 14:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My super power is to slap people upside the head when they need it most. No need to thank me. Just doing my job.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 14:13 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  



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