Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Sometimes I need to recheck my facebook account to remember what I did this past weekend. 
←Rate | 05-30-2011 16:50 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon certain that the news companies are now just making stuff up to try and scare us because I've just seen the headline 'KILLER CUCUMBER CLAIMS 10 LIVES.'
←Rate | 05-30-2011 15:51 by Jennythe1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uhh Sorry Mom & Dad, but I don't think washing behind my ears was the most important place to get cleaned..
←Rate | 05-30-2011 15:33 by MrFraggs Comments (0)  


   messageicon if alcohold is made from old fruit then I exceed my daily requirements by a long shot
←Rate | 05-30-2011 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does Stevie Wonder love seeded hamburger rolls? Because of the jokes written on top.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 12:07 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon now enemies with you and 5 other people.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use my cell phone as backlighting at night when I flip someone off so they can better see my finger.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 11:51 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that thinks Snookie is starting to look like an Umpa Lumpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
←Rate | 05-30-2011 11:06 by migasjoe Comments (1)  


   messageicon Remember: When strangers offer you drugs, take them, because drugs are expensive!!
←Rate | 05-30-2011 10:54 by @JesseHutch Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to go a few pages back, copy a status, then re-word it so I appear creative.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon goin' skinny dippin' in the Cement Pond with Elly Mae.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before putting any money down on a championship game, always check with the hat makers, they always get it right.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 09:23 by Craig Comments (0)  


   messageicon • BoyfriEND, girlfriEND, friEND. Everything has an END, except family.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 08:56 by Nomalungelo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer? Max Factor should make condoms.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 07:44 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon This woman at Target does not seem at all appreciative that I just found a lump on her breast.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 07:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just opened a fortune cookie that read: "That wasn't chicken . . ."
←Rate | 05-30-2011 06:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon moving to the USA as their gas prices are over $5 per gallon cheaper than anywhere else in the world!
←Rate | 05-30-2011 05:28 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I watch truTV and CSI so much that I even wipe my fingerprints off the remote after I turn off the TV.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 03:10 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon trust and friendship can be tested by how long a person borrows an item of yours for so long and return it back in the same condition.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 02:25 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "just kidding."
←Rate | 05-30-2011 01:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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