Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I have to say... to lie about taking steroids as long as Lance Armstrong did sure takes a lot of ball.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 15:24 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, baby, it's just not going to work between us: You're a sheep and I'm a border collie. I'm so sorry. I never meant to herd you.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 15:23 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Hitchhiker's, they always give Me a Thumbs up Every time I pass by them
←Rate | 05-27-2011 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "two managers 1 cup..." could get quite messi tomorrow
←Rate | 05-27-2011 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though my house has an alarm, I still like to set booby traps...just in case.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 13:16 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you're at a red light and you look at the person next to you and they're already looking at you
←Rate | 05-27-2011 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon aaah the weekend... drink triple, see double, act single.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Spent the last 30 minutes trying to trim my side burns and am now sporting a nice mohawk..
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men make mistakes the problem is god gave us a brain and A wienner but not enough blood supply to run both at the same time..!!!
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is a Freak, it just takes the right person to bring out that side of you.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the appropriate gift to give your woman on your 5th year anniversary..... of the restraining order?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't stand it when people won't speak a little louder when I'm trying to eavesdrop on them. You people are selfish.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If drunkness was a professional sport, I would probably be disqualified for steroids.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that little voice in your head that tells you "No?" Yeeeah, mine died a long time ago.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon DNA Tests today confirmed danny devito is arnolds love child..
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon MIDDLE AGE TEXTING CODES: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 10:30 by Darren Comments (0)  


   messageicon Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver
←Rate | 05-27-2011 09:54 by Katrina Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember as we are planing for our tomorrows, our brave soilders are giving theirs today.. Have a safe an wonderful Memorial weekend everyone!!
←Rate | 05-27-2011 09:03 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon if it wasnt for the gutter, my mind would be homeless...
←Rate | 05-27-2011 08:50 by @datjusthappened Comments (0)  



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