Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I Spent the last 30 minutes trying to trim my side burns and am now sporting a nice mohawk..
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men make mistakes the problem is god gave us a brain and A wienner but not enough blood supply to run both at the same time..!!!
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is a Freak, it just takes the right person to bring out that side of you.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the appropriate gift to give your woman on your 5th year anniversary..... of the restraining order?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't stand it when people won't speak a little louder when I'm trying to eavesdrop on them. You people are selfish.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If drunkness was a professional sport, I would probably be disqualified for steroids.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that little voice in your head that tells you "No?" Yeeeah, mine died a long time ago.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon DNA Tests today confirmed danny devito is arnolds love child..
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon MIDDLE AGE TEXTING CODES: ATD -at the doctor. BFF -best friend fell. BTW -bring the wheelchair. BYOT -bring your own teeth. FWIW -forgot where I was. GGPBL -gotta go, pacemaker battery low. GHA -got heartburn again. IMHO -is my hearing aid on?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 10:30 by Darren Comments (0)  


   messageicon Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver
←Rate | 05-27-2011 09:54 by Katrina Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember as we are planing for our tomorrows, our brave soilders are giving theirs today.. Have a safe an wonderful Memorial weekend everyone!!
←Rate | 05-27-2011 09:03 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon if it wasnt for the gutter, my mind would be homeless...
←Rate | 05-27-2011 08:50 by @datjusthappened Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in, all the kids in Kindergarten Cop are Arnold's
←Rate | 05-27-2011 08:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon earth is full, go home.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 07:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anybody have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 06:52 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Your first mistake was leaving me. Your second mistake was thinking I would die without you.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 06:13 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Been a week since I broke up with my girlfriend.. I need a new sandwich maker already or I'm going to starve to death.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 05:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 86. Sometimes I like to order pizza from Domino's and when the delivery boy rings the bell I open the door in a Pizza Hut outfit.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 04:29 by BRian Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometime I look at people and think, "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and sh!t a better argument than that"
←Rate | 05-27-2011 04:27 Comments (0)  



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