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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm wearing shorts today..just resized how much pee splashes when your going pee in the toilet..
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05-31-2011 18:13
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My middle finger gets a stiffy when I think of you
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05-31-2011 17:50 by
miz
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My life needs more explosions and gaping plot holes.
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05-31-2011 17:26 by
Aaron
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True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
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05-31-2011 16:19 by
Danmanz
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Shouldn't all the parking spots at Walmart be handicapped?
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05-31-2011 15:57 by
@The69Sheriff
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"Right." - Fred
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05-31-2011 15:56 by
@The69Sheriff
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Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to
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05-31-2011 15:04 by
elpedro
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Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.
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05-31-2011 14:21 by
jdpower
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I bet George Wendt's web browser has a lot of open tabs.
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05-31-2011 14:13
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Congressman Weiner accused of sending photos of his weiner to a college co-ed....too funny
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05-31-2011 14:09
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drinking beer so I can drive to the store tomorrow to return the deposit bottles so I can afford to buy gas so I may go get more beer this weekend. Its an endless cycle.
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05-31-2011 13:34
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I Helped an old lady cross the street today...had to .she was on my hood..!!!
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05-31-2011 13:16
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best pickup line of the day..."Ya wanna f**k or do I owe you an apology?"
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05-31-2011 12:01
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Marriage tip #392: Don't ever, ever start an argument with your wife with "Your f**kin' mother"......
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05-31-2011 11:40 by
urboyblue
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Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button
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05-31-2011 09:34 by
elpedro
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Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.
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05-31-2011 09:29 by
abbybaby34
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Whose idea was it to "be an adult?"
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05-31-2011 09:29 by
abbybaby34
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Real men like curves; Only dogs like bones.
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05-31-2011 09:28 by
abbybaby34
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you may have some pretty big muscles but my vajay is the most powerful thing in this room right now
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05-31-2011 09:25
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Today is "Save Your Hearing Day" soooo......I'm not listening to a darn thing anyone has to say today.
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05-31-2011 08:25 by
acreak
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