Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'm wearing shorts today..just resized how much pee splashes when your going pee in the toilet..
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My middle finger gets a stiffy when I think of you
←Rate | 05-31-2011 17:50 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life needs more explosions and gaping plot holes.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 17:26 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 16:19 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouldn't all the parking spots at Walmart be handicapped?
←Rate | 05-31-2011 15:57 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Right." - Fred
←Rate | 05-31-2011 15:56 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to
←Rate | 05-31-2011 15:04 by elpedro Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:21 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet George Wendt's web browser has a lot of open tabs.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congressman Weiner accused of sending photos of his weiner to a college co-ed....too funny
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon drinking beer so I can drive to the store tomorrow to return the deposit bottles so I can afford to buy gas so I may go get more beer this weekend. Its an endless cycle.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 13:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Helped an old lady cross the street today...had to .she was on my hood..!!!
←Rate | 05-31-2011 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon best pickup line of the day..."Ya wanna f**k or do I owe you an apology?"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip #392: Don't ever, ever start an argument with your wife with "Your f**kin' mother"......
←Rate | 05-31-2011 11:40 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:34 by elpedro Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:29 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whose idea was it to "be an adult?"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:29 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Real men like curves; Only dogs like bones.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:28 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you may have some pretty big muscles but my vajay is the most powerful thing in this room right now
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is "Save Your Hearing Day" soooo......I'm not listening to a darn thing anyone has to say today.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 08:25 by acreak Comments (0)  



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