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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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You know why there are no wal-marts in Afghanistan? Cause theres a Target in every corner...
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05-12-2011 23:07 by
BEGO
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I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.
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05-12-2011 22:39 by
BEGO
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My neighbor is always talking about the paranormal. Wonder what she will have to say when she finds out I put Mentos in the bird feeder and Diet Coke in the bird bath.
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05-12-2011 22:24 by
eaglet1122
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feels like a playa... just eye-f**ked these hot twins for a solid 10 seconds and I don't even know their names.
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05-12-2011 21:45 by
Elbow
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Looking @ a homeless guy on the bus, how does he know where to get off? ;)
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05-12-2011 21:39 by
Trishwj
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: My neighbours liked my music so much, the called the cops to come and listen.
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05-12-2011 21:34 by
Elbow
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There's never a hobo around when you really need your windshield cleaned
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05-12-2011 21:33
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100% of my regrets will be when my friends find out exactly where I've been stealing 100% of my statuses. #Faaak!
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05-12-2011 21:09
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Guys... at what point do they stop being skinny jeans and start being pantyhose?
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05-12-2011 20:12 by
@The69Sheriff
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75% of my regrets involve hitting the "Share" button.
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05-12-2011 19:55
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Xbox games should come with the warning "Caution! This game could cause temporary Tourette's Syndrome"
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05-12-2011 19:09
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clear your browsing history and cookies and give yourself as many thumbs up as your want
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05-12-2011 17:49
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I learned 3 things from "Look At Me Now": Chris Brown is getting paper, Busta Rhymes has four tongues, and Lil Wayne doesn't eat sushi
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05-12-2011 17:36 by
@iTechnoBoy
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75% of my regrets involve hitting "send."
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05-12-2011 16:44 by
Marshall the Great
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We all have that ONE person we would gladly take back in a second...No matter how much bullsh*t they put us through and hurt us in the past.
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05-12-2011 16:09 by
KISSTOPHER
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"I like big butts and I cannot lie" - homeless guy digging in an ashtray
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05-12-2011 15:47
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I listed the Federal Government as a dependent on my taxes this year
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05-12-2011 15:22 by
Gil
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It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
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05-12-2011 14:57 by
C.J.
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It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.
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05-12-2011 14:25 by
SinghB
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I JUST GOT LAID THIS MORNING!................ Unfortuanately it was at a 7/11 gas pump :(
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05-12-2011 14:24
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