Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Ever since watching Extreme Couponing I hate grocery shopping even more!!!!
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 20:37 by momofthewildthings Comments (1)  


   messageicon Only the brave men wear white underwear
←Rate | 05-31-2011 20:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moment of panic: When someone walks in while you're taking a crap at work or school
←Rate | 05-31-2011 19:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Believing Harold Camp is kinda like believing O.J. Simpson as a character witness at a murder trial
←Rate | 05-31-2011 19:36 by Rudedog Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if your morbidly obese.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members... that's how dangerous they are.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:47 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon My relationship status with Adobe Photoshop is "It's Complicated"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people decided to put their umbrellas up when it was raining intelligence
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you mean I'm being sarcastic? I don't even know what sarcasm is!
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wearing shorts today..just resized how much pee splashes when your going pee in the toilet..
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My middle finger gets a stiffy when I think of you
←Rate | 05-31-2011 17:50 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life needs more explosions and gaping plot holes.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 17:26 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 16:19 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouldn't all the parking spots at Walmart be handicapped?
←Rate | 05-31-2011 15:57 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Right." - Fred
←Rate | 05-31-2011 15:56 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to
←Rate | 05-31-2011 15:04 by elpedro Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:21 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet George Wendt's web browser has a lot of open tabs.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congressman Weiner accused of sending photos of his weiner to a college co-ed....too funny
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:09 Comments (0)  



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