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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm bad with stains. Does anyone know how to get fat out from under a t-shirt?
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05-31-2011 23:35 by
Doc Noland
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Sean Kingston says 'somebody call 911'
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05-31-2011 22:37
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I went to an italian restaurant for lunch, but there was a fat girl at the door and I couldn't get PASTA
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05-31-2011 21:37
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I hate it when people lie, especially when you know the truth about what they are lying about.
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05-31-2011 21:29 by
BEGO
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To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don't care, and the other half don't know.
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05-31-2011 21:28 by
BEGO
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Just when you think you've finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
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05-31-2011 21:27 by
BEGO
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When I say “wow, that's crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven't been listening to a word of your conversation.
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05-31-2011 21:26 by
BEGO
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People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
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05-31-2011 21:25 by
BEGO
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Ever since watching Extreme Couponing I hate grocery shopping even more!!!!
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05-31-2011 21:18
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I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.
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05-31-2011 20:37 by
momofthewildthings
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Only the brave men wear white underwear
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05-31-2011 20:08
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Moment of panic: When someone walks in while you're taking a crap at work or school
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05-31-2011 19:47
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Believing Harold Camp is kinda like believing O.J. Simpson as a character witness at a murder trial
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05-31-2011 19:36 by
Rudedog
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Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if your morbidly obese.
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05-31-2011 19:23
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Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members... that's how dangerous they are.
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05-31-2011 18:47 by
@The69Sheriff
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My relationship status with Adobe Photoshop is "It's Complicated"
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05-31-2011 18:36
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some people decided to put their umbrellas up when it was raining intelligence
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05-31-2011 18:32
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What do you mean I'm being sarcastic? I don't even know what sarcasm is!
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05-31-2011 18:23
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I'm wearing shorts today..just resized how much pee splashes when your going pee in the toilet..
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05-31-2011 18:13
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My middle finger gets a stiffy when I think of you
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05-31-2011 17:50 by
miz
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