Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'm bad with stains. Does anyone know how to get fat out from under a t-shirt?
←Rate | 05-31-2011 23:35 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Kingston says 'somebody call 911'
←Rate | 05-31-2011 22:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to an italian restaurant for lunch, but there was a fat girl at the door and I couldn't get PASTA
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people lie, especially when you know the truth about what they are lying about.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don't care, and the other half don't know.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:28 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when you think you've finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say “wow, that's crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven't been listening to a word of your conversation.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever since watching Extreme Couponing I hate grocery shopping even more!!!!
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 20:37 by momofthewildthings Comments (1)  


   messageicon Only the brave men wear white underwear
←Rate | 05-31-2011 20:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moment of panic: When someone walks in while you're taking a crap at work or school
←Rate | 05-31-2011 19:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Believing Harold Camp is kinda like believing O.J. Simpson as a character witness at a murder trial
←Rate | 05-31-2011 19:36 by Rudedog Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if your morbidly obese.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members... that's how dangerous they are.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:47 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon My relationship status with Adobe Photoshop is "It's Complicated"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people decided to put their umbrellas up when it was raining intelligence
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you mean I'm being sarcastic? I don't even know what sarcasm is!
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wearing shorts today..just resized how much pee splashes when your going pee in the toilet..
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My middle finger gets a stiffy when I think of you
←Rate | 05-31-2011 17:50 by miz Comments (0)  



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