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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Rebecca Black's fame only lasted 2 Friday's
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06-03-2011 00:55 by
Brent
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Instead of cashiers saying "here's your receipt" they should say "will you throw this away for me?"
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06-03-2011 00:41 by
hovo
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if your complaining about new statuses, maybe you should do your part and contribute a witty status yourself!
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06-03-2011 00:11
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Can we please get some new ones instead of the constant repeats?
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06-02-2011 23:42
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Dear John Edwards, Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you!, Sincerely, Anthony Weiner
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06-02-2011 23:15 by
Gil
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Being dead inside is sad but being dead outside is way sadder.
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06-02-2011 22:39 by
misty
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Tsunami works like this: If you don't go to beach, beach goes to you.
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06-02-2011 22:10
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a huge heart. Just haven't found a woman that can wrap her arms all the way around it yet.
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06-02-2011 21:37
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i guess if you got the last name weiner, you better advertise it!
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06-02-2011 21:02 by
David
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And remember kids it's very dangerous to drive with a flat. But that chipotle was well worth it :)
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06-02-2011 20:38 by
Mahdi H
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Nobody believes you're serious until the first nose is broken.
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06-02-2011 20:28
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There is nothing worse than smelling something disgusting and you're sitting by yourself. Is it me? Is it blowing in through the window? Is there a corpse rotting in the corner?
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06-02-2011 20:27
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If you are wearing Uggz with cargo shorts, you need to get your life together!!!!!!
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06-02-2011 20:11 by
greek
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Brand new scientifically proven weight loss lipstick... Superglue
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06-02-2011 17:19 by
miz
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and they have been telling me for years, salad was good for me, well f'ck that i'm sticking to chips.
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06-02-2011 17:14 by
miz
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Friday's smell like vodka
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06-02-2011 17:10
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A woman has just looked through the window whilst I was playing with myself.
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06-02-2011 16:58 by
leanne k
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Grammatically correct affirmations? Now, that is something about which I am talking.
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06-02-2011 16:40 by
@The69Sheriff
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I'm not sure who was on the elevator before me but they left all of their cologne in here. All of it.
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06-02-2011 16:40 by
@tommyjohnagin
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95% of American drivers say "oh sh!t!" before driving into a ditch... The other 5% are rednecks saying "hold my beer and watch this sh!t."
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06-02-2011 16:38 by
Marshall the Great
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