Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon They always say that the hottest person at the party never gets approached because people are intimidated to talk to them. I'm just going to assume that this is me... It would explain so much.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you begin a sentence with “Don't tell anybody, but...”, the person you're talking to has already thought about who to tell.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still think if people put "whats on their mind" and were honest... statistically the most popular status update would be "sex."
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people "Happy Birthday," ever.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've spent a small fortune on dog toys and the he's outside chewing on a cardboard box.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon says when a woman ask "what did you say?", she heard it, but she is giving you a 2nd chance to say it right
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when a woman ask "what did you say?", she heard it but she is giving you a 2nd change to say it right
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently Anthony Weiner has too many photos of his junk to keep track of..
←Rate | 06-03-2011 10:05 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ev1 says it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean, well I ain't never seen no small ship make big waves!!
←Rate | 06-03-2011 09:44 by Nat Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always ask myself WWJDD? (What Would Johnny Depp Do?) That seems to work for me.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 09:38 by Jim Sikes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thankfully, I don't suffer from homophobia. I do however, suffer from homophonia (irrational fear of words that sound the same but have different meanings).
←Rate | 06-03-2011 09:36 by Jim Sikes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr. Jack Kevorkian can finally get those pesky patient opinion surveys filled out!
←Rate | 06-03-2011 09:31 by Jim Sikes Comments (1)  


   messageicon I bought the new Kurt Cobain Bobble Head doll....but now the d@mn head keeps popping off it.....
←Rate | 06-03-2011 09:12 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon hanging up her spoon after a hard days s*it stiring.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 08:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why am I able to walk for miles with no problem, but as soon as I look for my house keys, I start doing the pee-pee dance?
←Rate | 06-03-2011 08:44 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon instead of "lol", try "lsimhbiwfefmtalol"... laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 08:28 by @surge1109 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sex is better when they don't belong to you.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 08:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say "I don't know, lets yahoo it"....Sincerely Google
←Rate | 06-03-2011 08:05 by AC Comments (0)  



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