Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dear politicians, you're dumb enough as is, so I'd highly recommend you stay away from social media.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the people in front of me at the ATM always seems to be having some sort of major financial crisis?
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is fighting their own battle, to be free from their past, to live in their present and to create their future
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?"
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:35 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on-line, why does looking at them make me the weird one?"
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad once told me that, by definition, a leader is someone who has followers, and the more followers, the greater the leader. I think that was true right up until the advent of Twitter."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon During a particularly rough storm the other night, local weatherman advised getting into your bathtub, covering yourself with a heavy blanket and wearing a bicycle helmet. I am ONLY watching that channel's news from now on..."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the first hour of work, I've entertained myself by watching my eye worms. I hate when you go to look at them and they run away! Them lil B@stards are quick!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 10:03 by Ronnie V. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pregnancy Test: The magic wand that can make a man disappear.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 10:03 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you seen the new Hippie doll? wind it up and it doesn't work.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's gonna be a scorcher..... so I want to be clear here.....SAY NO to sandals and socks....... you have been warned !!!!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 09:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That Wiener story just keeps getting bigger and bigger...
←Rate | 06-07-2011 09:21 by cmk Comments (0)  


   messageicon its all shyts and giggles until someone shyts and giggles!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I understand the nature of humans, so don't bother me with your pedestrian level of intellect......
←Rate | 06-07-2011 04:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When will women ever learn? Never post pictures of yourself and your hotter friend posing together. Especially when she has bigger boobs than you. It will only make you invisible and insignificant.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 03:42 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon The "problems" in your life can't be that bad if you can update a facebook status... How bad can life be if you have internet access or a cell phone with a data plan.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 03:40 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teiam, the I is silent. There you go!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 01:41 by Zapper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay....if you're going to post pictures which include your hot friends, at least tag them!!!
←Rate | 06-07-2011 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon moving to Sweden where all the guys are smart enough to realize brunettes are way hotter than blondes
←Rate | 06-06-2011 23:27 by @mollyfaerie Comments (1)  


   messageicon I feel like standing across the street facing a nursing home in a grim reaper costume and waving at all the old people I see...
←Rate | 06-06-2011 22:55 Comments (0)  



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