Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   When society collapses, who do I talk to about being killed last?

   What if we CAN breathe in space and they just don't want us to escape?

   I went for a self-defence class last night. The instructor said, "I want you to take me by surprise and attack me" So when I saw him in Sainsburys the next day I threw a tin of beans at his head.

   If I had a nickel for every time someone said I'm bad at math, I'd have 47 cents.

   Taco bell always makes me wonder, who ate this burrito before I did.

   quit telling me how addictive the things I ingest are...you know what else is addictive?!!?! EFFIN FOOD..if you stop eating you will have withdraws too!! FREAKS!!

   How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams!

   I went outside once.... The graphics were alright, but the gameplay sucked

   maybe jfraze should read the homepage that sais statuses for facebook...just sayin....Love not anger..

   i think i'd have to be pretty hammered to see Thor

   Today's excuse for drinking beer: "I wanted some beer."

   i wish there was a friend, who could help me as much, as music does

   I liked The Hangover II more the first time I saw it. When it was called The Hangover.

   Was going to complain about the people downstairs having loud s*x, but they finished before I could type this status, I think premature ejaculation is probably punishment enough

   That awkward moment when you and the girl you just met ran out of things to talk.

   BAD DAY I feel like Kylie Minogue - but without the fame, talent or charisma. OMG! I'm Danni Minogue!!

   I dream in High Definition.

   I'm so hungry I could eat the A$$ end out of a rag doll.

   lets be nothing , I heard it lasts forever ;-)

   If you don't like my tweets then don't follow me. And if you don't like losing then don't follow Lakers.