Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon “... of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” Matthew 24:36..If God has not even revealed to his own son the date the world will end, I doubt he has revealed it to Harold Camping.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 23:15 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother told me that when I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a year an a half.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 23:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the dance floor is a priviledge not a right
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:39 by jmigas Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting together a crew for the Rapture, Just booked 4 Penske trucks for Sunday. I'm still in need of 2 drivers and 8 laborers. Meet me at the Wal-Mart parking lot at 6:00 AM Saturday, a BBQ will follow
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:29 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon : Have you ever been the only sober person in a roomful of drunk people? ... Me neither.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:16 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night."
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:02 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam?
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:01 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:54 by matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the NBA wants to increase viewers, they should start playing FOOTBALL!!!
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:30 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon While Facebooking, cars in front of you may be closer than expected.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always believe a woman when she says: “You don't want to know!”
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When everyone is out to get you, paranoia is just good thinking.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 21:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just watched a commercial asking if I suffer from schizophrenia. I think i'm okay, but will run it past the other voices...
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:51 by joann Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:40 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow, Paul McCartney got married again?! Really seems like this relationship has legs.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:37 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thor" is the #1 movie -- proving there's nothing Americans love watching more than an immigrant who's good with a hammer.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:35 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought about being atheist...then I realized they dont have any holidays
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:31 by BigBunny Comments (0)  



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