Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4816 of 5594

   messageicon Taking your little Kids on a vacation with you to Vegas, is the same as taking a blind man to look at christman lights .. Just sayin!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once somebody needs to roundhouse kick the person who does the 1$ bigger bid on The Price Is Right!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 14:59 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to suffer from major blackouts. This one time,...I have no idea what happened.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 14:56 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes the video of james and wade mocking dirk...i also like the one where dirk mocks them...oh wait there aint one because they aint never around during this series!!!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Choose your Facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing
←Rate | 06-10-2011 14:06 by elpedrohome Comments (0)  


   messageicon you have permission to update my status to "is dead" when my time comes
←Rate | 06-10-2011 13:51 by BGT Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet a turtle's last thought before getting run over is always, "I got this."
←Rate | 06-10-2011 13:35 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don't feel like doing.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 13:17 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?
←Rate | 06-10-2011 13:16 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know the person on the other end of the phone is comfortable with you when you can hear the toilet flushing.....
←Rate | 06-10-2011 13:04 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 12:19 by ALEX AUNE Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 12:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just learned that you're supposed to Urinate on a Jellyfish Sting and NOT on a Jelly Roll Stain.......Sorry Sir.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 12:02 by Vitamin N Comments (0)  


   messageicon 95% of all Fords sold in the last 20 years are still on the road today. The other 5% actually made it home.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 11:17 by Glen Ahlborn Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between Saturn and LeBron James? They're both big and full of gas, but at least Saturn has rings.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon im not a loser I'm just on the Z list of celebrities
←Rate | 06-10-2011 10:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon M̸o̸n̸, T̸u̸e̸s̸, W̸e̸d̸, T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸, Friday !!!!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People kept telling me all day I looked hot!... Then I realized it was probably coz I was sweating like a pig in this frickin' heat...
←Rate | 06-10-2011 08:51 by Robert Red Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon big story in the paper about a movie called Super 8. I must be getting old because I don't remember the first 7 movies of that series.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 08:39 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't have an iphone, well, you don't have an iphone! Oh yeah? And if you don't have a Droid X, well, you don't have flash player and adobe! Now, How do you like them apples?!?!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 04:36 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left