Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4813 of 5593

   messageicon Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 12:30 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful when it comes to reincarnation…. one time I asked to be a singer and I spent 30 years as a sewing machine.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 12:29 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Made it through another day without having to know karate.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is one long sweet dream… and marriage is the alarm clock.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 11:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon LIKE if you do this: Waking up and checking your Facebook like its the morning paper.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 11:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when a stranger asks to borrow your cell to make a quick call. No good reason to say NO, but in your head you're thinking of every excuse in the book. "Sorry, I work for the FBI and cant allow any unauthorized person to use my phone."
←Rate | 06-09-2011 11:35 by DooDoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Betty White naked...whoops this isnt Google..
←Rate | 06-09-2011 10:39 by Tyler Comments (0)  


   messageicon The squiggly red lines you get when typing in Word documents are your computer's allergic reaction to dumb.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 10:26 by Sunshine Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to sit on the floor at the airport so I could charge my phone and iPad. This must be what the depression felt like.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 09:51 by @tommyjohnagin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats with people who reach facebook maximum friends limit and have to open another account to accommodate more new friends? Are you really that popular or you are just a slut?
←Rate | 06-09-2011 09:42 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon a LEADER, not a follower... But if we're walking into a creepy dark place, SCREW THAT! You're going first!
←Rate | 06-09-2011 09:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's rush hour and a million people are going West and a million are going East. We should either swap jobs or swap houses
←Rate | 06-09-2011 09:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it ?
←Rate | 06-09-2011 08:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who came up with kisses? The very first kiss must've been creepy "What're you doing why R you sucking my face?" "Jus trust me on this one"
←Rate | 06-09-2011 08:01 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Release the hounds Smithers!
←Rate | 06-09-2011 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women made cat calls at men & stared at our crotches, betcha WE wouldn't be offended.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 06:02 by Know It Comments (0)  


   messageicon a light eater . As soon as it is light he starts eating.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 06:00 by Mr magoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend lost his tongue in a industry accident , he doesn't talk about it
←Rate | 06-09-2011 05:57 by xandu Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly .
←Rate | 06-09-2011 05:53 by wookie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grandfather used to get up at 5am every morning and deliver milk to people's doorsteps in a horse-drawn cart.... He wasn't a milkman , he was clinically insane.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 05:51 by mr magoo Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left