Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Whats with people who reach facebook maximum friends limit and have to open another account to accommodate more new friends? Are you really that popular or you are just a slut?

   a LEADER, not a follower... But if we're walking into a creepy dark place, SCREW THAT! You're going first!

   It's rush hour and a million people are going West and a million are going East. We should either swap jobs or swap houses

   Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it ?

   Who came up with kisses? The very first kiss must've been creepy "What're you doing why R you sucking my face?" "Jus trust me on this one"

   Release the hounds Smithers!

   If women made cat calls at men & stared at our crotches, betcha WE wouldn't be offended.

   a light eater . As soon as it is light he starts eating.

   My friend lost his tongue in a industry accident , he doesn't talk about it

   Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly .

   My grandfather used to get up at 5am every morning and deliver milk to people's doorsteps in a horse-drawn cart.... He wasn't a milkman , he was clinically insane.

   my girlfriend dresses to kill .Coincidentally , she also cooks the same way.

   A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized...lol :P

   I'm almost sure she's cheating on me with her boyfriend.

   Losing his kidneys at candy mountain

   Tina you Fat lard come get some dinner

   You know methane gas is odorless right? That's why I add the odor to mine so you guys know if I have a leak!

   I just let a disturbance in the force.

   Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver

   says a lot of Democrats are standing behind Congressman Weiner, not because they support his cause, they are simply afraid what would happen to them if they stood in front him.