Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4812 of 5593

   messageicon It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holy shat Marty McFly turns 50 today. (I could insert a Parkinson's joke here but that would be rude)
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon any girl can be cute with the right amount of makeup
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon _______ _. _____ died June 7, 2011 at the age of __. He was the _______ of ___ Libs. (RIP Leonard B. Stern)
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people look up to me.....it's nice being tall.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:45 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon After I was born the Doctor had to slap my ass to get me breathing, I was so pissed after that I didn't speak to anyone for almost two years
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 16:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 16:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon • My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I hate most about winter is people coming to bed and touching me their ice cold toes. I know you got your sexy on, but for god's sake wear some socks.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you HATE it when your ex says to you "I'm here if you ever need me". Where the f**k were you when we were together and I needed you?
←Rate | 06-09-2011 15:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm a Flirt In A Skirt, A Tease If Past My Knees & A Slut If Past My Butt"
←Rate | 06-09-2011 14:55 by Sozzle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alot of people look up to me... Mostly midgets and children, but its just nice knowing that...
←Rate | 06-09-2011 13:52 by AMS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rock a bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all. Really? Why the hell did you put you kid in a tree for anyway?
←Rate | 06-09-2011 13:21 by Slick Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not weird, I'm normal... You're just not used to me.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just spent 30 minutes entering ridiculous symptoms into WebMD and it diagnosed me as having no life and being immature. Pshhh!
←Rate | 06-09-2011 12:48 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 12:30 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful when it comes to reincarnation…. one time I asked to be a singer and I spent 30 years as a sewing machine.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 12:29 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Made it through another day without having to know karate.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is one long sweet dream… and marriage is the alarm clock.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 11:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left