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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Today I'm offering my "Tasting Menu" which is where I open the cans that got lost in the back of my cabinet and say, "Here, taste this."
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06-12-2011 01:22
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feels Ripped Off after having bought this book titled "How to Make a Woman Constantly Happy"..... 469 Blank Pages!! :-/
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06-12-2011 00:23
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The fake laugh you do when you don't understand what somebody just said to you. You're like :D but deep inside you're like o_O
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06-11-2011 23:17
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Just found out it was raining by looking outside. WTF, Facebook? You're supposed to tell me these things first!
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06-11-2011 22:36 by
BEGO
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Just because no one liked your "funny" status the first time you posted doesn't mean you should post it 6 more times.
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06-11-2011 22:34 by
BEGO
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75% of my regrets involve hitting "send".
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06-11-2011 22:30 by
BEGO
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So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
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06-11-2011 21:04
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I don't think I could ever work for Research In Motion (the maker of BlackBerry). How do I tell my parents I got a RIM job?
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06-11-2011 20:10 by
thejoeyhamer
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Those women on the Real Housewives. I'm not sure what's more fake: their personalities or their breasts
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06-11-2011 20:10 by
thejoeyhamer
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Called animal control cause I found a nest outside my window. Never knew those guys were so good at pickin up chicks
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06-11-2011 20:09 by
thejoeyhamer
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Apparently episodes of General Hospital are being replaced by Prison Break. Looks like daytime TV just dropped the soap..
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06-11-2011 20:09 by
thejoeyhamer
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It seems like only yesterday that my abs didn't have the letters "FL" in front of them.
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06-11-2011 19:41 by
Bill Legarzia
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Im not as smart as a 5th grader ...but I think I could kick the shi%t out of one of them..!!!!
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06-11-2011 19:32
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,,!,,(-.-),,!,, in this kind of mood
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06-11-2011 19:32
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Cutting onions doesn't make me cry. I became indifferent to their suffering years ago.
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06-11-2011 19:25 by
EB_Smart
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Um.... how is that akward? Well, unless you were sitting in your room naked with a bowl of Jell-o.
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06-11-2011 19:24
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I'm writing a book about cheap imported cars... It's a real Saab story.
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06-11-2011 18:45 by
@The69Sheriff
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I love those sayings that have 2 opposite words in them... Exact Estimate - Act Naturally - Small Crowd - Found Missing - Happily Married...
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06-11-2011 18:43 by
@The69Sheriff
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Honey, you spread rumors almost just as Much as you spread your legs.
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06-11-2011 17:58 by
Celester
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Seeing a spider is nothing, it becomes a problem when it disappears
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06-11-2011 17:53 by
Zap
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