Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4809 of 6452

   messageicon I bet Cleveland is cheering louder than Dallas. Way to go Mavs!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 22:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went outside once.... The animation was alright, but the characters and story line sucked.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 70 years after WW2, and LeBron James has America rooting for the German. SMH, Congratulations Mavericks......
←Rate | 06-12-2011 22:52 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can't talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
←Rate | 06-12-2011 21:40 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Terrorists are like salmon, life is good until the seals show up
←Rate | 06-12-2011 20:38 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think Cough drops have an expiration date but at some point you have to start eating them with the wrapper still on.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 20:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just stepped on a Lego piece in bare feet and accidentally won a krumping contest.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 20:04 by C Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lawnmower is like a man. You either have to push it or ride it if you expect to get any work out of it.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 19:10 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big Boobs makes my ADHD go crazy!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:49 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Boobs are a lot like toy trains...they are meant for kids but dads like playing with them too
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:47 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anthony Weiner just needs to call Bill Clinton and get advice from a pro.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:46 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon on tv shows whenever someone gets audited, they have a box with all of their receipts. Who has a box? I don't have a box. Should I have a box?
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:40 by Zap Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to defrag my brain. Process takes 8 to 9 hours. Will be unavailable till reboot is complete..
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:40 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs thr circus when you can go to Walmart. "Our prices are as low as the self esteem of our freaks"
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've ever taken a baby to a movie, please set yourself on fire. Thanks.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally watched a few minutes of The Bachelor and now I can't remember a single state capitol.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon apparently there are stupid questions. They're the ones I ask my wife.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:23 by Zap Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Facebook is coming out with a new software that uses facial recongnition to automatically tag all pictures posted. Something tells me "drunken loser" will have the most tags ever.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you want to speak to the man in charge or to the woman who knows what's going on?
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:11 by Zap Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left